If I could make a wish upon a shooting rocket this festive season, it would be to make Diwali an eco-friendly festival.
It’s a miracle my old heart hasn’t given out as I tremble under the dining table listening to screeching comets hurtling through the air and atom bombs rocking our walls.
While the children gasp in admiration at the multicolored flashes lighting up the night sky, mom nostalgically recalls organized, muted Fourth of July celebrations that didn’t coat the entire city in a thick layer of smog.
“Just sit in a room with a laptop, OK?” dad sarcastically tells her, conveniently forgetting that’s exactly what he does all day long under the guise of “work.” So, for the sake of propriety and marital harmony, mom stands on the porch, her nose covered, and nervously watches flowerpots ejaculate from a distance. She hopes her children will tire soon of the smoke and din, even while noting the sparks from the Sudarshan chakras and sparklers reflect in their excited eyes.
“What did you buy for Deepawali? Is your shopping all done?” seems to be the opening of any conversation in the past month, and indeed, Chennai seems to be undergoing a retail frenzy as people jostle their way through the throngs despite the pouring rain and shop as though money were shortly going out of fashion.
“Buy something nice. It’s expected,” her mother tells her, despite her protests that her closet is overflowing with clothes that haven’t seen the light of day. Dad's mother thankfully stepped in this season to maintain family honor, saving mom endless hours of browsing the racks for outfits that start looking alike after awhile.
With the precious hours saved from shopping, mom indulged in her favorite activity – expanding her waistline. A few days before Diwali saw her elbow her way through the rough and tough crowd at a famous local sweet shop to sample some of their wares.
“Give me 250 gms of Bombay Kaja, two packets of special mixture, four orders of kuzhi paniyaram, three murukku packets, five kachoris …” she ordered, unmindful of the ghee dripping from a donnai of chakra pongal in hand. Despite sweet, sticky rice not being her ideal fare, she shoved spoonfuls into her mouth as it’s unbecoming of a Hindu, even a non-practicing one, to refuse free prasadam.
The days leading up to Diwali have seen mom balance her sweet and salty taste buds by ensuring that neither one has much cause to complain. Even as her stomach groans in protest at the calorie-laden food, mom ignores the rising vapors in her body and simply loosens the drawstring of her salwar.
After all it’s not for nothing that the new yoga master is teaching her to stimulate her excretory system.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Taare sar par
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25 comments:
When I read this, I wish we too moved back to India...somehow that feeling of home...of having access to all things Indian, that kind of conversation...well, I got a glimpse of that when I called my older cousin Anna and as soon as he said hello, he said, yenna daa, Deepvali purchases'lam pannitaya? Here it is just another week day. Some organized party or the other that some people go to...that sort of thing. But when I think of your lizard posts (hope the US lizards don't spite me and show up inside the house and leave me dead!) and I am happy not to be there! But your posts are soooo interesting - don't ever move back! :L)
noon:
i so agree with you on that opening sentence. terri (and mom), i envy you guys.
on the other hand, while i am not scared of lizards, i know for sure that i will not be able to keep up with the joneses (i.e., "rnri" population). better to be envious one day per year than daily! :-)
- s.b.
noon, I'll miss all this when I come back (please, dear God, ensure that I do indeed go back!) Are you saying my posts from the U.S. weren't half as interesting? :)
s.b., you should see the lifestyle of some of the people here (RNRI and local richie rich ones). It's so difficult for my middle-class mindset to spend money like they do. I long for the desi software strata back in the U.S. where shopping meant Target and Mervyn's and provisions could be found at the local Costco.
Poor Terri .. hang in there - you'll have to deal with a another couple of days of the racket and din. I'd like to join you under the dining table myself.
For work related convenience, we've ended up in an area cluttered with RNRIs (I know, I am one of them but I don't FEEL like one of them) and everything is SO pricey here, even for Bangalore. I like it better at my SIL's place where we would walk to the main road, get our veg and fruits from the local vendors, maybe get a chaat/bhel-puri on the way back home (hygiene be damned). Here our options are Spensers, Mor, Nilgiris etc (though I do like not having to worry about haggling with the cashier).
I am still to hire household help because the thought of having to "manage the help" makes me pick up the broom and mop myself ...
Wish you and yours a Happy (and uneventful for Terri) Diwali
-DS
AH!..For this one day, there is no better place in live in the planet than India. Well, good luck and have a safe diwali. Srikanth
Srikanth, same to you. Thanks!
DS, I shop at all these places also. I started off buying rice and dal at a local store until I found a roach leg in the rice. After that I became a convert to buying branded provisions. I realize I'm paying for the plastic packaging, but I balance it by buying vegetables off the street and making a lot of trips to the potti kadai on the corner.
Poor Terri- it's a shame, isn't it, the amount of noise during what is meant to be the festival of light.
Take care. A happy deepavali to you and your family.
dipali, unfortunately we seem to be in the minority. HD to you too!
terri:
whoops! i forgot to wish happy deepavali to you guys.
- s.b.
p.s.: wonder what dad would expand 'hd' to!
Good point, I do appreciate not having to screen the rice and lentils for stones (and apparently tiny body parts!). I infer from Google that potti kadai means "small shop"? You would think I would know this being married to a tamilian, but my defense is he hasn't learnt Konkani either! Unfortunately, there are no street vendors within walking distance so a lot of my produce come from these stores as well (until I figure out better local sources).
-DS
s.b., best wishes to you and your family too. No danger of dad inferring anything. He usually pretends this blog doesn't exist.
DS, I've gathered it's highly unusual for women to patronize these corner shops dressed in capris and sunglasses, and holding on to a dog. I usually have to jostle with the kind of crowd that buys one cigarette at a time and school children who plunk down a coin and ask for toffee. But then nobody calls me "Akka" at la-di-da Nilgiri's.
Let me guess, Grand Sweets was the recipient of your bakshanam money?
Like the Americans let go during Christmas, i am a mess on Diwali day. Eating sweets during Diwali is a guilt-free pleasure.
Terri's momma, how on earth will you be able to leave all this sho-sha araam, khao piyo aur jiyo life and come backto apna mundane, boring US of A:-)
But I get ya on the RNRI phenom. I felt positively poor on my trip in March. There was a definite "Credit Card Zindabad" frenzy on Brigade and M.G. Road in B'lore while I tried to decide whether the 2000Rs. I'd blown up on clothes was a tad too much.
global, yes, Grand Sweets is entirely paisa vasool. I don't get as much pleasure from buying a new outfit. Am a little weird that way.
deepa, mundane USA might be boring, but it's familiar. This "sit back and eat while cook works in the kitchen and maid cleans up after you" lifestyle is not. I want to be mistress of my domain, but it seems as though cleaning up after oneself was a lot easier over there.
No kidding, and don't even think of hooking said sunglasses into the front of your shirt/top -- apparently this is HIGHLY suggestive and is a sign of questionable character (even if the neckline is choking-danger high). Maybe this is peculiar to certain parts of Hyderabad ..
"Akka"? You should be flattered. I am regularly addressed with the other A word -- "Aunty"! Gah. I hate that moniker - I almost prefer the un-egalitarian "memsaab".
-DS
I am with DS, hate the A word, would rather be called paati than that. Akka is cool though. Now that DS has mentioned it all the dodgy google searches with that word will land here :)
Terri's momma, are you moving back to US of A? I thought you relocated back to India for good.
I am out-and-out pro-RNRI and wouldn't want to live anywhere else, even if you gave me honey-nut-cheerios by the sackful for FREE. Roach leg in dal, I can handle. Lizards copulating under the tube light, I don't mind. Heck, I don't even freak at the occasional cobra that crosses our yard. BUT, I would join Terri under the table at the cracker noise. Terri, let us hold paws until this madness is over.
anon, "for good" has such an air of finality, don't you think? Much as I'd like to, we're not moving back anytime soon. What would I write about then?
wa, I was called aunty when I had one kid. Capris weren't in fashion then.
DS, that does sound peculiar. I use sunglasses the way the manufacturer intended - as a hair band.
lakshmi, I'm popping barfis and mixture by the handful for relief. The whole family is sick after inhaling noxious gases by the lungful. You'd think they would've learned their lesson, but they're already discussing how they plan to poison the air next Diwali. I hereby call for a ban on all firecrackers from under the table.
tch, tch.. what is it you guys are wishing for, end of the 'vedi' era?
I hope you guys realize this is a very gandhian way of celebrating the bomb culture.
during the teens, me and my brothers completely got out of these firecrackers craze, but my last year india trip brought it all back.
-sachita
without a word verification, how do you manage to keep the comments spam free?
sachita, when you're as ill as we are from smoke inhalation, you'll curse those fireworks too. I feel like taking an axe to my neck this morning - can't swallow or even breathe properly.
oops apologies..., never realized they could cause this huge a problem.
-sachita
Thanks Terri's mom for sharing.Interesting ABCD expansion.Wish you n all a joyful Diwali ahead.
Cheers!!
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