Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Fro(zen) in time

Known for his somewhat expensive pastimes, dad has had an ongoing love affair with the lens for several years now.

As a dutiful wife, mom has learned to turn a blind eye (or in some cases, a red eye) to dad’s hobby and stay out of the picture - a necessary precaution, as the man has been known to shoot at sight at times, that too without warning.

A firm proponent of candid shots, dad moves silently and swiftly, never yelling, “Ready?” or lining people up against monuments. It's no wonder then that mom has her mouth open and eyes shut in just about every photo.

While her favorite prints are usually close-ups of the children, this particular photo taken by dad occupies pride of place in mom's virtual album.





Partial to the Buddha for his composure and serenity, mom finds it impossible to walk by Buddha figurines at import stores without a second look. Even with his eyes closed, he imparts a sense of calm that instantly relaxes mom and forces her to take a deep breath - especially after she turns the statue over to look at the price tag on the bottom.

The above photo, taken at a family gathering in New Jersey, graces our desktop, and reminds mom of the surprise anniversary party thrown for her in-laws three summers ago.

While the rest of the family scurried around hanging streamers and keeping a wary eye on the door, dad quietly fiddled with his camera, adjusting the lens and photographing random objects like coffee stains on the dining table and dust patterns on the stairway.

"Put that thing down and give me a hand," yelled mom, perched precariously on a chair on one foot, with a piece of tape stuck to her finger. Little did she know that dad would produce a reproduction that night that she would cherish for years to come.

Mom's parents will be happy to note that this avatar of Vishnu is the last thing mom sees before retiring for the night and the first thing she sees when she awakens.

Anitha, I hope you're happy too, even though this photo tag is late and I twisted the rules a little.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Aaj kal paaon zameen par nahin padte mere

Remember when dad went to India last year and mom opted to stay home and complain?

“I refuse to go to India for 10 days only,” she declared haughtily. "Especially when I'm traveling on my own dime."

Well, the time has now come for mom to stick to her convictions.

Since she thinks traveling halfway across the world for 10 days is a colossal waste of personal resources, mom has booked her tickets to India for … hold you breath … don’t keel over with jealousy now … a whopping 11 days!

That’s right, 11 whole days of spring break in Chennai with her in-laws. And what’s more, mom’s taking the kids with her.

“Are you out of your mind?” gasped her girlfriends. “You call that a vacation?”

Well, let’s see … 11 days of no work, cooking or cleaning, sleeping in and waking up to a warm mug of Horlicks, gallivanting around town, shopping, deciding between masala dosa or aloo parantha for breakfast, a face to face with Lakshmi and Shoefiend, consuming copious quantities of sweets and savories, and watching her children gambol with their grandparents ….

Sounds like a vacation to me.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Food for thought

I’m sure god has his reasons, but why does he not accept naivedhya prepared with eggs?

I only ask because I was instructed not to offer homemade pound cake as a substitute for pongal.

Is the Creator trying to *gasp* advocate vegetarianism?

Thursday, January 10, 2008

The testy tourist

I’m not sure what mom minded more on her vacation: (a.) the California chill or (b.) wiping down public restrooms on Interstate 5 for her daughter’s benefit.

In a drive that spanned a few thousand miles last week, mom made the acquaintance of just about every McDonald’s restroom in the state of California, and she has stomach-heaving memories of unflushed toilets to prove it.

Even the women’s toilet at the Shiva – Vishnu temple in Livermore could not rival some of the sights she encountered on the drive, and mom made a vow to fly the next time instead of driving with a child who likes to drink on the road.

“You wouldn’t believe how filthy the restroom was,” mom would comment to dad after each visit, proceeding to graphically describe her experience in a misguided attempt to share all aspects of her life with him.

When she wasn’t complaining about the state of the toilets, mom complained about the bitter cold in the Bay Area.

The winds howled outside her uncle’s home while she huddled under layers of thermal wear. Generously helping herself to the goodies her aunt had baked, mom eagerly listened to family gossip and hugged the electric heater for comfort.

In fact, were it not for the superlative hospitality of her uncle and aunt and the warmth of family members gathered for a reunion, mom would have moped on the entire trip and held poor dad responsible for the inclement weather.

As it is, she half-blamed him for the complete lack of vegetarian fare on Fisherman’s Wharf and, worse, for not instinctively knowing where Ghirardelli Square was located.

“But you’ve been here before. How can you not know where it is?” she cried, conveniently overlooking the fact that she had accompanied him on the last occasion.

Dragging her extremely reluctant family by hand, mom eventually found the famed store after asking a passing firefighter for help.

By the time they stood in line with fellow desis and fought their way through the crowds, the hot cocoa had grown tepid and the giant chocolate chip cookie in their sundae needed a sledgehammer to be cracked into bite-sized pieces.

“So, why is this place so famous?” asked grandpa, as they walked back into the cold, unsated. “I still think nothing compares to our Indian ice creams.”

For once, mom readily agreed with him.

Friday, January 04, 2008

Aye, kya bolti tu?

  • Why are people around me still saying “Happy Holidays?”


  • When is that mound of Christmas candy at mom’s workplace going to disappear?


  • How long before mom can't suck in her gut anymore and needs new pants?


  • How is it that the woman in accounting who delivered two months ago has a flat belly already, and mom who delivered in 2003 still doesn't?


  • Why did my grandparents have to leave?


  • Why do children grow up so quickly?


  • Why do vacations have to end?


  • Who invented work? Some jobless character?

  • When is it going to get warmer around here?


  • Why am I rambling when all I want to say is three little words?