More Bang for the buck

After checking with our new neighbors we learned that the average wait for a BSNL connection in the new house ranges from 30 – 45 days.

The humans were flummoxed. At this rate, they'd be forced to make civil conversation with each other instead of retreating to their respective corners with their laptops. Grandpa was duly requested to use his clout, and after a short wait of five working days, the humans were reconnected to the virtual world.

The question du jour directed at my humans is “Settled aa?” Kind neighbors want to know if they need help, relatives visit with fresh vegetables and food, and the doorbell rings ever so often with strangers asking, "Madam, driver beka? Maid beka? Cook beka?"

Perhaps it’s the glorious airconditioned weather in Bangalore, or the squeaky-clean community they now live in, or the new townhouse they moved into with lizards outside the house as opposed to inside, or the fact that they moved countries exactly a year ago … whatever the reason, this time mom has unpacked all 143 cartons and is trying to turn her house into a home.

“We have too much stuff,” frowns dad, referring to anything non-electronic. “Let’s get rid of half the things,” he proposes, as mom frantically clambers to rescue her brass Ganeshas, ceramic vases, papier-mâché knick-knacks and terracotta figurines from a cardboard box marked “Trash.”

For the first time, the humans find themselves living inside a gated community lined with barbed wire fencing separating them from the nearby halli residents. Uniformed security guards patrol the streets day and night with nothing to do other than crack their knuckles or adjust their black caps.

“They should get Dobermans instead,” suggests mom, as she spies the security guard on her street picking his ear or checking out his reflection in a parked car.

Where before mom would nag the children to “go outside and play,” she now begs them to come home at least during meal times. With a swimming pool, tennis and basketball courts on site, minimal traffic and lots of company, the children prefer to spend time playing outdoors or in friends’ homes.

“Only young people living here,” observed grandma as she walked around the complex, “young” referring to anybody below the age of 50.

At night in bed, the family listens to the thunderclouds rolling outside and watches the palm trees swaying in the breeze. “Do you guys like it here?” asks mom, in between swatting tenacious mosquitoes.

“It’s cool,” says Anu, which probably translates as superlative in tween vocabulary.

Perhaps the family's feelings can best be summed up by its youngest member who declares, "I want to stay in Bangalore, I never want to go back to India!”