Aiyo Rama!

Bird flu is coming! Gracious, goodness me, the sky is falling! The sky is falling!

The local newspaper featured the avian pandemic as the lead story a few days ago, so I guess the situation is grim. Usually, our daily rag has its head buried in the sand, like most American media outlets, and prints world news as an afterthought.

But this bird flu is beginning to worry me because I’m a serious bird lover. I especially fancy sparrows. I know, most people like pretty, colorful birds like macaws and toucans, or talking parrots, but I dig puffy, petite sparrows. They’re compact, juicy and the right size for a quick snack.

Mom grosses out when I pick up dead birds from the bushes on my daily walks. She shudders when she hears crunching bones and sees a feather or two sticking out of my mouth.

I feel sorry for this woman. She doesn’t know what she’s missing. I mean, how long can you chew cud without going crazy?

Recently, Ms. High Horse found herself in a tight spot in the deli aisle at Albertsons. Curious Kuki, who’s going through the “Why?” phase, dropped some prepackaged salami into the grocery cart. As mom scurried to put it away, Kuki demanded to know why.

Mom: “Because we don’t need it.”
Kuki: “Why?”
Mom: “We just don’t.”
Kuki: “Why?”
Mom: “We don’t eat meat.”
Kuki: “Why?”
Mom: “Kuki…let’s go!”
Kuki: “Why, Amma? Too yucky?”

Of course, mom didn’t want to launch into an anti-meat diatribe in the deli section of a grocery store, especially in front of a 2-year-old whose immediate follow-up question would’ve been, “Why?”

So, she stood mutely by as Kuki retrieved the salami and walked away, hugging the packet to her chest.

Hey, it could've been a lot worse. At least the scene didn't play out in the birth control aisle - over a box of condoms.