Huh?

It’s three in the afternoon and you’re sitting in a dimly-lit conference room listening to your boss’s boss’s boss’s boss deliver a presentation that, quite frankly, is flying over your head.

You’re having a hard time staying awake after your aloo parantha-raita lunch, but the room isn’t dark enough for you to nod off. Besides, your co-workers seem to be all ears and are nodding brightly.

You steal covert glances at your watch willing time to move faster. You swallow simultaneous yawns and pick imaginary lint off your pants. You draw flowers on your notepad that gradually morph into stars that morph into tendrils that morph into arrows that look like cricket bats; you draw balls to go with the bats and color them in. One thing leads to another - the cricket bats start to look phallic, and your mind is soon filled with images of Halle Berry and Billy Bob thrashing around in Monster’s Ball, a movie you rented solely for that one scene. You hastily scribble over your doodle on company stationery and look at the PowerPoint slide show with unseeing eyes.

Across the gleaming mahogany table, your group’s admin. is seemingly unaware that her blouse is dangerously low-cut. You idly wonder how many pencils she can hold in her bountiful cleavage. At least three, you surmise. Maybe even four.

Apparently, the head honcho said something amusing because, suddenly, everybody laughs. You join in, even though you didn’t hear what he said, but don’t want to look like an idiot.

The presentation continues, and you jot down a grocery list on the margin of your notepad. “Upcoming baccha birthday this weekend,” you recall. “Buy gift.”

You suddenly remember that you forgot to call your cousin on her anniversary yesterday, even after your mother reminded you a half-dozen times. Now, this cousin will bitch about you to her mother, who will then update all relatives worldwide about the snob you have become.

“Any questions?" the big boss asks, interrupting your rêverie, and signaling the end of the 45-minute presentation.

“Just one,” you want to confess. “What the heck were you talking about?”