I could have sworn someone tagged me awhile ago. Was it The Visitor? Or was it my imagination?
Somehow, the guilt of not responding is weighing down on me and causing a bit of acid reflux – quite like when mom procrastinates to call visiting elders from India despite constant reminders from her parents.
Therefore, in the interests of my health, let me tell you a few things about myself that I’m sure you’re dying to know.
1. I sniff crotches. That’s how I say hello. And I think it’s more sincere than the fake smiles and the breezy how-are-yous exchanged by sworn enemies in mom’s friends’ circle.
2. The nose knows. I can tell you your entire medical history in one sniff – ask me the date of your last period; current medications you’re on; the last time you were intimate, and with whom; your ovulation cycle; etc.
3. I drink from the toilet on occasion - when my water bowl’s empty. As far as I can tell, it tastes no different from mom’s rasam.
4. I can hear the rustling of a loaf of bread in my dreams. I might be fast asleep upstairs, but the sound of a plastic wrapper in a sound proofed basement can rouse me from the deepest slumber.
5. I think mom should quit her job and stay home with me. She and I are both happier that way. Mom was born to live life as a pampered princess, not as a corporate slave. Dad, on the other hand, suffers from no such delusions, so he’s well-advised to continue working and keep the hearth fire roaring.
P.S. How embarrassing would it be if nobody actually tagged me and I just sat and wrote a whole post about myself?
23 comments:
How embarrassing would it be if nobody actually tagged me and I just sat and wrote a whole post about myself.
How else do you think that these memes begin, Terri?
Pssst: Did I really tag you? I clearly seem to have forgotten. ;P
Mom's Rasam compared to Toilet Water.. that should get you A LOT of brownie points with her... NOT !!!
visitor, maybe next time around, I'll start my own meme. I'm not even sure what that means, though.
vijay, that's about the kindest thing I can say about mom's rasam.
terri:
why don't you ask dad to really bring the bacon home, you might just like it better than either toilet bowl water or mom's rasam! on the other hand, it might not satiate your thirst.
i think a meme is just started by a kid who wants to get the most attention in the class "me ... me"!!
- s.b.
Who cares if you were tagged or not (although you were, of course!). This was a fun post!
Terri, I think mom should stay home too ! And blog more ! She'd enjoy it, and so will we. At least she won't need to eat thayir sadam with ketchup ? :)
lakshmi:
... or without! ;-)
what's with the vox?
- s.b.
As regards no. 5, I think, Terri, you have the uncanny ability to read Mom's mind. I wonder what Dad has to say about your opinions? Mom's rasam sounds delicious!
P.S. Loved Borat! And it's not because I have the "mental capacity of a 10-year-old male with a predilection for potty humor," thank you very much Terri! OK, just partly becoz. Laughed till I cried! But it also made me think and led to very serious discussion w/spouse about the mistreatment of Jews the world over.
a muser:
who do you think is a "10-year male with a predilection for potty humor"?
let's see now ...
- terrimeister is 10
- he has definitely set the record straight on his gender
- i quote from this very post "I drink from the toilet on occasion - when my water bowl’s empty. As far as I can tell, it tastes no different from mom’s rasam."
i guess i - and all readers of this blog - qualify as borat aficionados!
- s.b.
Hehehehe, you make a good point, s.b.!
Terri , stay at home.
Work on the rasam .
Be a full time Terri ( AND the Ones-with-Two-Legs ) Mom.
You owe us.
;-)
Since you like toilet bowl water 9and am assuming you think it's delicious), I guess Mom's rasam is yummy too.
s.b., unfortunately, the smell of bacon makes mom barf. That’s why dad toils to put thayir sadam on the table.
Moppet ki ma, did you tag me?!!
Lakshmi, if one could make a living from blogging, mom would be the first to sign up.
Muser, s.b, no! Didn’t you find Borat the least bit disgusting? Not even when the guys were cavorting in bed?
All Hail, in mom’s perfect world, she’d be working part-time or blogging full-time from home.
mg, like a true lawyer, you found a loophole. I like your reasoning.
Not connected to Terri's blog entry, but a rather narcissist reply to s.b. above. Terri, you should actually ban me for using your comments section for personal messages :)
S.B. the vox? The family decided to scrap the domain we owned in which my blog resided. Hence, when searching for an alternate free blog site, I stumbled upon vox, which seemed quite interesting at first (they even have a question every day that you can choose to answer if your imagination runs dry !). But realized too late that commentors need to register :( Still, sick of packing and moving, decided to stick on.
yea mom, stay home and write your book.
Terri, I a a frequent reader of your blog. Usually it is only in line 2 or 3 that I can make out whether you are writing about yourself or your mom. So when I read "I sniff crotches", I thought wow! this is a bold confession, in a week of confessions including the one by Desiwitch. Sadly I realised that it was actually you talking....
southways, yikes! One confession a week is enough, don't you think? And this blog is all about me, me, me. The humans are just a side kick.
munimma, there's no book brewing. But mom will try and not let that stop her from staying home.
lakshmi, make yourself at home.
Terri,
you snow colored or Golden Temple Atta colored?
Not that the color makes a difference, I love you anyways.
But you look a tad different in the pic.
Hope all's well at your end.
lakshmi:
thanks for the update. strike one for vox! i vote for wordpress, though blogger is trying to catch-up.
unfortunately, my notoreity will now skyrocket, what with me not even having the gumption of asking terri's permission before hijacking her commentspace.
terri:
southways has a point. i would edit the first para of your previous post to:
"Who has the time to write when there’s so much to read? And I’m not just talking about the updates to mom's favorite blogs or the 85, mostly Viagra-related, e-mails in her inbox when she returned."
unless, of course, the pharmacists are trying to pawn off said drug on poor unsuspecting you, in which case that last sentence might need some more editing!
oh, and btw, i haven't watched borat (and don't plan to in the near future - i am not big on movies, though i did watch 'break up' recently and liked it). i was just was pointing out that it appeared as though you were endorsing it.
- s.b.
Upsi, I thought only I was color blind. The dog on the lower right isn’t me – it’s Marley from “Marley & Me.” Being of mixed parentage, I’m just about every canine color you can think of.
s.b., since when do you have to ask for permission? You’re welcome to come on over and chat up my girlfriends anytime.
Hey terri, I thought this blog was all about mom and mom only! My God Terri, you are under a illusion, if still think that the humans are only sidekicks. :p
-PP
PS: I visited this blog first thinking it was all about you, but was sadly mistaken. :(
Hehehe, I admit I gasped aloud when I saw the guys cavorting in the bed in Borat -- yes, it was quite disgusting -- but I came away filled with admiration over the extent two awesome actors can go to shock and shake one up. In this blase world, we need more Borats to get us to see the real message.
Post a Comment