Not that it matters much, but it appears that the rules of this meme game (it was noon and now Lakshmi who tagged me) involve posting six or more fascinating facets of my personality. And I’m supposed to tag somebody else in return so this chain never dies - sort of like the scam grams from Nigeria that show up in my inbox or the spooky-looking host of Unsolved Mysteries who, I’m convinced, is really a ghost.
I’m afraid of rejection from people I don’t know well, so I tag mom, who’s only too happy to talk about herself - even when she hides behind her dog.
1. Mom dislikes shaking hands. She’s convinced that she fell sick the first week at work because she shook at least 263 hands in greeting. Now you see why this woman can never be president.
2. She doesn’t like to touch door handles in public for the same reason. After every trip to the restroom at work, mom walks out with the white paper towel she just dried her hands with to open doors. And since there’s no trashcan nearby, she has to walk through a sea of cubicles holding on to a damp paper towel, all the while praying she wouldn’t be introduced to someone and forced to shake hands.
3. Mom attracts static electricity the way Paris Hilton attracts controversy.
4. The smell of coffee makes her barf (yes, she’s probably from another planet). The scented candle overdose at Pier 1 gives her a headache; perfumes make her sneeze; and the fecal stench in public restrooms is enough to make her faint. Given her sensitivity to odors, I’d say she was a dog in her last life. But her partiality to the smell of musk cologne on a faintly sweaty body has me thinking that she could very well have been a doe.
5. Mom is a self-proclaimed dishwasher queen. With Hercule Poirot-like precision she will arrange cutlery and plates in such a way that the dishes are never tempted to run away with the spoons.
6. Politics and religion are to mom as romance and foreplay are to dad – completely pointless and a sheer waste of time.
7. Despite dad’s undisguised disinterest in romance, Lifetime television, office gossip, family melodrama, celebrity news, Michael Bolton’s music and this blog, if she had to do it again, mom would pick him in a swayamvara of 10,000 suitors with her eyes closed - he'd probably be the only guy there with a laptop and no cologne.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Tag Times Two
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21 comments:
omg! D.I.T.T.O. on #2! I CANNOT touch door handles especially once I've washed my hands. I keep two bottles on hand sanitizer on my desk at work.
Coffee makes me barf if I drink it after a meal...and if the smell is too strong that makes me barf too. I hadn't forgotten we shared a birthday by the way...but Leos can be self-critical about our delusions of grandeur from time to time!
LOL! Completely identify with point 6!
7. Gosh ! Does dad know?
Howdy, you are one of those - OC about door knobs - like my sis. I too do that but I somehow feel like I am not too compulsive about it - though I too use a paper towel most times to open the door...
No 6 - very mcuh the same feeling...
Great post!
noon, if you're doing it most times, you're compulsive. Mom cringes from touching public computers for the same reason.
lakshmi, the only way he'd know is if he read this post. He'd never guess by mom's attitude toward him.
moppet, I'm glad I have company.
mg, if you're not crazy about chocolate either, you're from mom's planet.
broom, hand sanitizers are fine in a pinch, but somehow mom never feels squeaky clean without soap.
Actually cried sad little tears when I read #6 -- another intelligent person who thinks politics is pointless. Sigh. It's my pet peeve. Politics is extremely important, even though the people in it are often slimeballs. If we, the smart and educated (ok, don't snicker now), don't take interest in the system, who will? Terri, you need to wake mom up.
muser, don't you think that without politics people would be making love, not war? Ditto for religion, I feel.
I used to be thusly flower-child-like in my beliefs, but alas, experience has taught me that humans can't survive sans conflict. I've seen too many people create conflict where no cause exists, just to manufacture some excitement in their lives. If not politics or religion, we humans will come up with some other way to dissent and fight. C'est la vie. Best to make the best of the system and come up with positive ways to change it. Avoiding it is a cop-out, in my opinion.
Adios, Terri.
your bullet # 4 -- barfing on coffee smell came a little hard on me.
How can you, a fellow south Indian do this?
The picture has been shattered. I admired you among the crowd, cheered and visited you every day; but you, of all things, a coffe-hater?!!
* I exit holding my coffee mug close to my heart. So long, Terri. Bye..
let me get this straight. you not only refer to yourself in third person, but also as "mom"? just so I know to get the characters right before I dive into the archives
For the first five or six years of my life I wasn't crazy about chocolate, it made me barf too. But now I can eat it and like it too...
muser, she votes. Can she get back in your good books again?
Upsi, first muser calls her a hippie, and now you cop out? Zaalim duniya! What does one have to do around here to retain readers?
Anon, the only first person reference here is to moi; mom only features in this blog for sex appeal.
Mg, I deign to eat chocolate only if there’s nothing else around.
Terri, to add to the tag-fest, I've tagged you too! :)
ano
terri:
"mom only features in this blog for sex appeal."
from the rate at which ze zaalim duniya is apparently crying alvidaa, mom's the key factor for the ex (readers') appeal!
anonymous:
dive right into the archives - once you pick yourself off the floor and dust yourself, you might want to suggest editorial changes to the content :-).
- s.b.
A, why, why?!! I wanted to put this tag thingie to rest.
s.b., editorial changes kyon? Should I tone the content down from NC-17 to PG-13?
Terri, there's hope for your mom, after all! Now, if she would just write a post on the upcoming U.S. presidential election, that would definitely earn her a permanent place in my good books.
terri:
no, i did not mean the rating (i would leave that 'unrated'), rather how anonymous could help you properly refer to the five persons in your blog.
- first person account = yourself
- second person account = dad
- third person = mom
- fourth person = anu
- fifth person = drat ... i've almost forgotten the name ... someone sweet ... aah! got it - cookie (or kuki :-)
a muser:
i think the desi presidential election is a bigger spectable and would lend itself more to terri-style of writing :-) [though clinton/obama/the rest won't lag too far behind].
- s.b.
muser and s.b., mom was MOST interested in the Clinton-Lewinsky saga when it happened. Does that make her somewhat politically savvy?
Terri, I have this feeling that your mom has a dirty mind :))) Likewise! No sex scandals have come to light (yet!) about the U.S. presidential candidates -- but we can always hope!
s.b., I am sure if Terri's mom wrote about the desi elections, that would make a fun read too -- plus fill up gaps in my knowledge. I'm woefully ignorant of the current status of desi politics.
terri:
if mom applies the pavitrata/pativrata tag to hillary and votes for her, i am sure a muser will be a mused (and i might too)!
- s.b.
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