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- “Such a big house, and you have no place for god? You have to keep perumaal in the bookshelf?”
- “There’s no matchbox in the house? How then do you light the lamp everyday?”
- “Wait, isn’t this east? Why are the gods facing west then?”
- “You’re going for a haircut on Saturday? You’re trimming your nails on a Tuesday?”
- “No, no, vaangibath powder never expires. Manufacturers simply put a date on the packet.”
- “At least wear a small bindi everyday.”
- “I’m NOT cooking too much.”
- “Why aren’t the children enrolled in Kumon? All the other Indian kids are.”
- “Fat free milk is just white water.”
- “Women should always smile and never complain.”
- “Enough already. Do us a favor and stop blogging!"
30 comments:
Stumbled on your blog very recently and am commenting for the first time..love the way you write and I find I can relate to so much..starting from the thaali to the lighting lamps..
Will be back for more!!
terri:
lord bless your grandparents - if not already, they'll soon be eligible for frequent flyer round-trip tiks!
i'm a newer parent than even your parents, but have caught myself saying stuff that you've quoted grandma(?) as saying!!
“Such a big house, and you have no place for god? You have to keep perumaal in the bookshelf?”
anup jalota has sung hanuman's response to this question very well: 'cheer ke chhaatee bole apnee pavan putr hanumaa, mere man men base hain raam, mere tan men base hain raam' (i just hope mom doesn't take this literally!!)
“You’re going for a haircut on Saturday? You’re trimming your nails on a Tuesday?”
i've caught myself saying this ...
“At least wear a small bindi everyday.”
... and this.
“No, no, vaangibath powder never expires. Manufacturers simply put a date on the packet.”
i agree with grandma, the powder will never expire - the humans that eat the concoction might, though!
“I’m NOT cooking too much.”
if this blog is around a few decades, i'm sure we'll hear reruns of this statement (from the 'next generation'). ;-)
“Why aren’t the children enrolled in Kumon? All the other Indian kids are.”
tellmeaboutit! fyi, mine aren't either.
“Fat free milk is just white water.”
all kids would side with grandma on this one.
“Women should always smile and never complain.”
if only they would ... (*runs/squirms/ducks before this comment boomerangs and chappals hit him from all angles and curves*)
“Enough already. Do us a favor and stop blogging!"
ask mom to respond with, in a tone similar to sundar's little one, no way jose!
- s.b.
Wait, I thought the grandparents were not privy to this blog! Isn't that why you moved here, in the first place, cos grandma did the old "Shiva Shiva" routine because of one of your (seemingly) racier descriptions of mom's life?
In fact, I even remember you telling me as much! So how did she land here again?
g'day, thank you. That was nice to read first thing in the morning.
s.b., you too? Why? Why? Explain the Saturday, Tuesday significance. That makes no sense. Do you want your wife or your daughter to wear a bindi at all times? Why again?
Let me join the others in throwing a chappal for that women should always smile statement. Needless to say, I've never come across any woman uttering it.
anantha, you will not catch grandma going "Shiva, Shiva," only "Vishnu, Vishnu." And I moved for another reason, but it didn't work. Grandma is still welcome to this PG-13 site. Now, if this blog were completely anonymous, what tales it would tell!
anantha:
" So how did she land here again?"
that was probably dad on one of his test flights, bringing a passenger along! ;-)
terri:
"... bindi ..."
ok, maybe not like all times, but ...
btw, had this co-worker once upon a time. she always used to wear a bindi - used to be fun to locate it though, as one would need a telescopic microscope to spot it without venturing into the personal space of said co-worker.
"Explain the Saturday, Tuesday significance. "
my pet superstition.
- s.b.
i'm thinking these are the parents!
oh well terri, no more naked mom walking around for a while...
LOL at number four from the bottom (KUMON)! My daughter IS enrolled there :D
"Women should always smile" statement? My MIL says something to that effect. GAH!! Can I throw an anonymous chappal in her general direction?
And number three from bottom? That's MY line :P
“Enough already. Do us a favor and stop blogging!"
the most significant difference between Them and Us.
--Amrita.
delurking to say "LOL!" and that the only of these that I whole heartedly endorse is “Fat free milk is just white water.” :)
Hi Ter - so totally true - all of this happens here too. Except I do have perumaal in the bookshelf. But no valakku every day. My mom was smart - she got KB interested in it - he loves to see her light the lamp and now when I raise my hand to get a book from the shelf below it he says "Vilakke pannalamaa?" And my mom says "Paaru adukku irukkara Bhakthi kooda unakku ille!"
And I do say this - fat free milk is just water! :)
Kodi's mom, Noon: "Fat free milk is just water" :) One should drink more of it then!
s.b., that co-worker sounds like the daughter grandma never had. Maybe the woman had a mole on her forehead.
alpha, that's right, it's way too cold to walk around naked.
gtn, what about gifted program? Doesn’t it go hand in hand with Kumon? And, ahem, if I may say so, it sounds like you’d like to fling more than just a chappal in the direction of the in-laws.
amrita, talk not in code, otherwise I might have to choose between them and y’all.
Kodi’s mom, thanks for speaking up.
Ladies, you’ll agree then that fat free yoghurt made from fat free milk is essentially mucous.
Hi Terri,
came across your blog while blog-surfing.
You have a very unique writing style and I enjoy reading your blogs especially for their humorous take on even everyday life!
Can fully identify with some of the things here. :-)
What! No comments about the cooking? Or leaving dirty plates in the kitchen sink? Washing hands in the kitchen sink? The dishwasher remaining loaded for hours?
Terri, your grandparents have been most kind.
I was nodding along with list, until I came to the last two. They are, ummm, unbelievable.
“Women should always smile and never complain.”
That seems to be more of a western preoccupation -- that women sit ramrod straight and keep smiling. Most Indian women I know slouch and have dour expressions (for the perfect legit reason that Indian mean think a smiling woman is flirting, but that's another discussion altogether). So, can't believe grandma/grandpa said that.
“Enough already. Do us a favor and stop blogging!
ummm ... so mild? Did they catch the blog on the red diapers or the art project coupons?
mom,
no matter which part if des grandparents come from, their "tippaNi" remains unvaried..:-)
LOL!
our trimming nails version -
"Don't trim nails after sunset(anyday)"
one more heard in my home:
It only takes 30-40 mins in the weekend to make idli maavu. You can have it for a week.
"it only takes xxx" will be applied to anything that I do not seem to be doing.
Amrita II, thank you, thank you, please keep the praise rolling in.
Lekhni, no comments on cooking because mom steps into the kitchen only to eat.
Lak, there’s a reason why mom’s pictures aren’t plastered on this blog - she slouches and has a dour expression most of the time.
Md, really? I thought it was mostly a southern specialty.
Anitha, don’t even get me started on the after sunset, rahu kalam, not scheduling trips on your birthday, etc. Does anybody know the real reason behind these rules, other than “because our elders have said so”?
Terri
Wanted to step in to comment on some possible reasons for the after sunset rules. In old old days before electricity was a part of everyday life, you do not want hair to be strewn, nails to be dropped on the floor where the family would be sitting down to eat as well. I am imagining a situation where there are not clearly demarcated rooms for dining, living, family entertainment etc., like now. So it makes sense that you avoid doing nail cutting, hair combing after sunset since you may not be able to know what fell where in the oil lamp one would be using.
About travelling, there was a strong belief that one should not go beyond the sea borders of your country (i remember reading such beliefs were there even in the time of Math genius Ramanujan when he wanted to go to London to study) due to the possible risks associated with sea voyage, getting used to the different weather/food in the other country and such.
Rahu kalam etc., had their origins in the influence of cosmos, planetary positions etc., (i guess) on day-to-day life. This may have been more effective when people were in tune with the environs (if you believe in the one consciousness theory that forces in the universe are all tied to each other and influence the outcome of events) but personally i don't believe people today are in tune with the universe and the subtle energy around them. So it does not matter whether you follow it or not but has anyone tried starting things only in Rahukalam or Emagandam just to disprove this theory?
Most of us in our generation especially if you have moved out of India would have questioned the rationale behind these things and would have found some answers.
My take anyway on these things is that the rules were made for a reason but may not be applicable to the present times. If you do not believe in it, one can say that they do not want to follow it because it does not make sense now but just use it to write blog posts!! :-).
- Shree
Wanted to add to the fat free milk comment - Fat free milk has everything that one needs from milk minus the fat. Don't drink it if you don't want to but it ain't no water!!
- Shree
shree:
agree with your comments on superstition, but disagree with those about milk. yes, people like me ought to drink fat free milk which, in this country, has as much vitamin d as the so-called vitamin d whole milk. but from a taste perspective ... don't even get me started.
and ... i'm no vampire, but whole milk w/o fat is like blood w/o rbc, wbc and plate lets.
- s.b.
s.b,
Fat free milk is an acquired taste! :-).
When i arrived at the US, my aunt gave me regular milk but i noticed that she was having fat free milk.
When it came to a point of me living on my own, i consciously chose fat free milk because i did not ever like the creamy part of milk and did not care for the taste of regular milk. You can guess that i did not grow up on thick filter coffee. Taste, i agree, is distinctly different even between 1% and fat free.
- Shree
shree:
one thing i don't ever recall getting the definitive answer to: how do the following desi milk varieties compare to their american 1%, 2%, and whole counterparts:
- fresh off the cow/buffalo (and boiled)
- fresh from milkman's can (adds unspecified amounts of water, among other intended and unintended ingredients)
- pasteurized packet milk (something that was unavailable wherever i lived in india before coming to the usa - now it is much more widely available, including in those areas where it used to be unavailable before); i have to confess that i don't know how many varieties of this kind are in existence (other than cow/buffalo)
- milkman's or co/buffalo's milk that has been boiled and the cream extracted from it (the milkman's variety of this kind of milk is what i always had in india - fwiw, i still prefer its taste to fat free/skim milk)
btw, i did use skim milk in the usa for a while; it is much more difficult to do with kids.
- s.b.
Thanks for explaining, shree. I vaguely knew about the reasoning behind some of these "rules," but I think we need to get with the times now that we have electricity and dining tables.
s.b., switch to soy (blech, yuck, thoo!)
terri... this is hilarious.. print it on the back of a T-shirt and you are guaranteed a few million in sales from the desi community!
Haircut on the wrong day ?...
http://sundar72.blogspot.com/2007/02/enjoying-india-especially-singaara.html
:)
Terri,
I agree with you on the superstitions. I do not follow them and if my parents tell me anything i explain to them that these are not applicable to the present times and i do not want to be a slave to those rules which do not make any sense. I think they understand my point of view.
Merry Christmas and happy holidays!
- Shree
After reading the fat free yogurt being mucous comment, I can't stop wondering if Terri and Alpha are the same people, you guys seem to have similar sense of humour (honestly, I say that in the nicest possible way, I swear)
wa:
while i agree with the humour comment, i don't know about them being the same or not, and one thing is for sure - they would do well to exchange their names (as post-christmas gifts):
terri would sound about right as the female blogger who is all set to climb mt. kili whereas alpha sound like a good name for a ferocious ;-) he-dog!
- s.b.
Sundar, I think you can come up with more gems than me.
Shree, good for you. Happy Holidays to you too.
WA, don't be afraid. My bark is worse than my bite. You just paid me a compliment, but I'd worry about offending Alpha on the other hand.
s.b., I vote for “Terri does Turkey" over Kili.
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