Hmmm, notice how nobody, I repeat nobody, took me up on my offer to make friendship in Chennai? Maybe it has to do with one of the following reasons:
- My reputation precedes me
- People in Chennai aren’t familiar with Rani-Kareena-Hrithik potboilers (Yikes, why not?!)
- Chennai is filled with cat lovers (Double yikes!! Why?!!)
- All of the above
If I had a finger instead of a tail, I would wag it at you, people. In the meantime, let me sidetrack and ask you this: Do I say Chennai or Madras?
When my humans left the country, there was only one name. That should tell you how old they are. The children and I would like to sound hip and politically correct, particularly after what happened last month at the immigration line at the Chennai/Madras airport when mom’s flight landed in the wee hours of the morning.
Now, one is usually not in the best of moods after flying halfway across the world for 17 hours with two kids and eating paneer dishes for breakfast, lunch and snack the entire stretch. Therefore, mom can be forgiven for being a tad short on patience and ignoring Kuki’s continuous whines of “Carry me, mom!” as they stood in line to get their passports stamped.
As she rifled through her purse for a pen and barked at her child to hush up, a man standing behind them delicately coughed and asked, “You know Tamizh?”
Mom turned to find herself at eye-level with an avuncular male wearing blue jeans and Kolhapuri chappals, with a dot of red kumkum on his forehead and a laptop case by his side.
“Hello, what’s you name?” he asked, clicking his fingers at Kuki and whistling softly through his teeth as though she were a puppy. “Tamizh terimaa?”
Kuki abashedly tried to dive in between her mother’s legs, causing mom to drop some of the items she was carrying, such as their passports, sweaters, uneaten snacks, bottled water, napkins, forms, a paperback, carry-on bags, etc.
The man continued to click his fingers and make puppy noises at Kuki. Annoyed, mom pulled her child closer to her and nodded slightly in response to the stranger’s “South India aa?” question, wondering where the one-sided conversation was heading.
“You should only speak in Tamizh, otherwise they will not let you enter this country,” the man pontificated to her children.
Taken aback, mom frowned and squished her babies closer to her, hoping the line would move quickly. “Pay no attention to the moron,” she wanted to whisper and reassure her darlings.
“Per enna? What’s your name?” the man repeated slowly, unaware of mom’s rising irritation. Before he could cluck his fingers again and suck in his breath to whistle, mom herded the kids across the red line to get their passports inspected and stamped and surprise! enter the country.
The Tamil trustee made a last-ditch attempt to drive his message home as Kuki turned to look at him. “Speak in Tamizh, OK? Only then Amma will be happy,” he said.
Sorry to disappoint you, maama, but Amma would’ve been far happier to show you her middle finger.
27 comments:
some ppl are lil 'over' friendly LOL!! u shud have done that and he wouldn't have been spreading his tamil love to another child in future.
Mon had better get used to it. And random people pinching Kuku's cheek (Don't let them). And random people asking mom why you have not worn a duppatta (ignore them).
However, if you keep your eyes and ears open, you'll find more fodder for Terri's tails than you can dream of in Phirangi land.
eating paneer dishes for breakfast, lunch and snack
LOL...
By the way mom would have been justified in showing maama the finger...
directhit, if he was trying to be friendly, he picked the wrong lady.
lakshmi, we're moving to greener pastures to look for more fodder.
vijay, how then would one explain the finger greeting to impressionable minds?
Yeah Ter I would not have known what to do in such situations! Was he just a socially clueless person or a real jerk? I would have just walked a little faster and pretended to be really busy - but just could not have done anything more drastic!
And see Terri - this is why you shouldn't move...although like Lakshmi says it will be fun to read such things with mom reporting live from India about such characters!
terri:
'flying halfway across the world for 17 hours '
one nonstop flight?
'“You should only speak in Tamizh, otherwise they will not let you enter this country,” the man pontificated to her children.'
ahaaa! looks like that was the epiphanous eureka moment that your mom had!
"Amma would’ve been far happier to show you her middle finger"
maama (not momma) sez: amma, you're a badtameez! ;-)
terri:
does mom's middle finger speak the language of the land? if not, how will maama understand?
- s.b.
sounds like a "warm welcome back to india" :)
noon, reporting live from India ... maybe I should change my tag line. Why do I suddenly feel like Barkha Dutt?
s.b., flew Jet Airways with a pit stop in Brussels. Highly recommend it, especially if you're a paneer fan.
The middle finger better learn the language of the land soon. It might come in handy.
Folks, what's the rudest gesture one can make in Chennai? Or are people immune to everything?
See, this is what bothers me :|
regd rudest gesture - nothing me thinks. People are immune to it all. Apart from fleeing the place..
Some welcome. Bah.
Busybody uncleji(:
To maama saying "Tamil Terimaa", you should have replied "Hindi tera baap".
You could have at least said "Cauvery terimaa?"
global ;) I'll try that the next time. I hope it doesn't hurt nationalist sentiments.
dipali, all we're asking is for unclejis, bhaiyyas, mamajis, dadajis, naanus and all other males to keep their hands to themselves.
rads, that's what bothers me too. Nobody wants to make fraandship! I guess I'll never get a "Nice" award :(
terri:
yup, i can have paneer with paneer for lunch. need to fly out on jet next time out! :-)
i need to look up their schedule though - 17 hours is still incredible, especially since i thought you were somewhere closer to the west coast! don't tell me i am still clueless as to your location! :-(
btw, when is your chennai eta?
- s.b.
s.b., airline paneer + long periods of inactivity = gas, heartburn and constipation.
Is there an India trip in the offing for you? We'll be there just before schools reopen, giving the children one week or so to acclimate.
The rudest thing that will make an impact is "Un velaiyai paathundu po". And just telling them to not touch the kids is fine. "Thotta avalukku pidikkaadhu" is a nice way to drive home the point.
But that aside, it is not all that bad folks. You can have the nicest of conversations with auto drivers, maid (my maid is my best friend), istrhri waala, the battar in the local temple and all kinds of people. There is as much warmth here as the nuisances.
"Is there an India trip in the offing for you? "
no, but we were/are planning a trip out to (what i believe to be) your current location. fwiw, this planning started after your big announcement. fwiw#2, you probably will be back in chennai by that time. fwiw#3, no cause and effect! :-)
- s.b.
That is quite an unpleasant interaction, i agree!
i would have also done something very similar to what you had done (move away from trouble), in the detachment of that situation now while reading, I am thinking one could say "Thank you for the unwanted advice" if one is in a irritated enough mood. Or send a message indirectly by talking to my kid "he is just kidding - don't bother about it". Definitely this would not have struck me in that moment if i were to be in your position especially in the wee hours when you are just trying to get home and get some shut eye after a long flight.
And, i am rude to people who try to pinch kids' cheeks coz i never liked it ever!! I tell my kids also to make annoyed faces if some stranger touches them.
Want to add this - I was coming back to India from an international flight just a few days back - wee hours - two kids (one who was sleepy and wanting me to carry her) - filling out the immigration forms after getting down (as they did not have any inflight) - there was this gentleman from immigration who came and requested me to come and stand in the line since the next flight with loads of people was about to arrive and that could prolong my wait. I felt he did go beyond his duty to be courteous and helpful. Not bad, eh?
- Shree
If you to be there before the school re-opens, then are you moving the end of may so soon... You should be having billions of things to take care of before that. Terri's mom you indeed are a brave woman.
-Nandini.
Terri,
I am going to so miss you...don't ask me how/why, but that is how I feel. My hometown is Chennai too, so maybe we can meet up for coffee and I can bring you and Lakshmi peanut butter and other goodies from the USofA :).
BTW, I have guests from Chennai this week (a mom, dad and their kid)...and the mom is yet to speak a Tamil word...you are going to be so okay as half of the Madras women only speak English.
Good Luck with the move and please continue to write.
Best Regards,
SS
ew, pedo alert!
I would have been rani to your hrithik but i dont live in chennai. :(
amrita, I'm still not sure which continent you live in. Your fans might have to find out through the process of elimination.
SS, I'm relying on phoren aunties to bring clothes from Kohl's and Mervyn's for the little one. Girls' clothes in India don't seem to fit the bill.
Nandini, I don't know about being brave, but being busy is true.
Shree, the humans need to invent a code language for privacy now. No more can they pass comments in Tamil and get away with it.
lakshmi, I have no doubt about the warmth of people. They must be like the weather.
if you figure out a polite way to tell people not to touch the kids let me know!
"amrita, I'm still not sure which continent you live in. Your fans might have to find out through the process of elimination."
thank you very much, terri. i got the feeling that i was the only ignoramus around.
"Girls' clothes in India don't seem to fit the bill."
surely you are kidding, aren't you? i thought it was the other way around.
"No more can they pass comments in Tamil and get away with it."
i suggest they try hindi. i think there are more parisians (is that the right word?) who know english than there are chennaiites who know hindi.
- s.b.
terri: *hand up in the air, jumping up and down* I know the answer to where Amritha is from, can I say? Can I say? Pleaseee? :D
mad momma, I'm sure you suffer from the same problem - when the kids were younger, strangers would grab them from my arms and squeeze them, and of course make them cry.
s.b., to clarify, girls' Western clothes in India cannot compete with Made in China maal sold at Mervyn's.
And you're underestimating people from Chennai. (Whoa! Why am I getting defensive?)
rads, poor Ams must be hiccuping. Amu, want to make an announcement?
"s.b., to clarify, girls' Western clothes in India cannot compete with Made in China maal sold at Mervyn's."
ok, you win, as long as you don't long for classic nola gumbo in chennai! ;-)
- s.b.
s.b., surely you're not still confused about my location. Why would I miss gumbo when there's vendakkai sambhar?
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