She went to J-school for this?!!

Whew, I'm finally here! It took me two frustrating days to register and I finally had to swallow my pride and ask my human for help - he had this thing up and running in less time than it takes him to pick his nose.

So much for me trying to be independent. At this rate, I'll have to start asking the kids for cyber-help, soon.

So, why exactly am I here?

It's my mom's fault, really. She's been wanting to do this for a while (and I really wish she would, so she'd stop talking to herself in the bathroom mirror) but she's so darned lazy.

I mean, how difficult is it to spend every moment of the day with a two-year-old and a bored six-year-old on summer break?

The woman does nothing all day but amuse her kids, cook, bake, provide snacks, drive them around to doctor appointments, swim classes, the library, playdates, the grocery store, etc. She might hit the mall sometimes to buy gifts for various birthdays, housewarmings, baby showers, dinner parties and other hostess gifts. She might paint a room or two in the afternoon, look for a job online, start making dinner - or at least open the fridge and stare at its contents for 15 minutes.

If I'm lucky, she'll walk me in the evenings with the kids in tow. Because of little Kuki who hates the stroller, I get to stop and smell every single bush and our 1/2-mile walk takes 1-1/2 hours. By now, everybody's tired, hungry and hot. So, with a cranky toddler clinging to her capris, mom drags her around the kitchen and puts together something barely edible in the name of dinner. What's more, she's ready to call it a night by 8 p.m.

Excuses ... just excuses ... say dad and I.

That's why I'm taking over. So, welcome folks, and sit, stay. Oh, and don't forget to wipe those paws. Otherwise, I'll get in trouble.