Where are all those people who said to my humans, “Just wait until you move to India. You can sit back and relax while people wait on you hand and foot”?
Mom would like to line them up and shoot them.
Not usually prone to such extreme reaction, mom finds that after two weeks of housewifedom, it’s not easy to manage ghar or grihasthi in India.
“Did you empty the trash in the kitchen?” mom asks the maid, Rani, every single day, the same way she asks her kids if they brushed their teeth before breakfast.
The maid seems to be a little short-sighted as she never notices overflowing garbage. To add to her handicap, she seems to be a little hard of hearing too, as she never responds to questions or directions.
“You mean I have to do this everyday?” her sullen expression seems to indicate, when she's asked to sweep under beds or pick up toys from the floor instead of skirting around them.
“Did you clean the commode?” asks mom, as the woman bids goodbye. After nodding brightly for an entire week, Rani finally scratched her head one day and asked, “Which cupboard did you want me to clean?”
For the two hours she’s here each morning, mom is on alert mode, keeping a sharp eye for obvious dust patterns Rani overlooked. “Can’t talk now; maid’s here,” she says brusquely on the phone, while the person on the other end nods understandingly and hangs up.
Long after Rani leaves, and her fetid body odor lingers in the air, mom thinks about her former cleaning ladies who performed their duties with no supervision. At $100 a visit, the polite, quiet duo scrubbed, washed, scoured, dusted, vacuumed and cleaned for three hours, leaving a sparkling house and a light citrus scent in their wake.
Rani, on the other hand, reminds mom of the bai on Channel V, who hitches up her sari and loudly proclaims, “Itna paisa mein itnaich milenga.”
For Rs. 1,500 a month (a princely sum I'm told) she wields a broom that picks up no dust, a dank mop that does not require her to bend, and splashes water on every conceivable surface in the bathroom, including the toilet paper.
Every time Rani lingers on the doorstep as she takes her leave, mom senses she is about to ask for a raise, but even at $100 a visit, we’re certain her modus operandi would stay the same.
“You should know how to handle these people,” says grandma, who’s never ever been happy with her help. “Just look at these north Indians. They somehow know how to get their work done.”
Short of firing her, mom has tried requesting, asking, demanding, demonstrating, ordering and even overlooking the woman’s faults.
Could someone tell her how to make her maid more of a naukar and less of a rani?
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
You don't get what you pay for
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34 comments:
First to comment - :)
I empathize with you - this is all part of that 1 year time frame where you go through hardships before you find your ground and settle down. Finding a good maid does have an element of luck and after that you pamper them so that they do not leave. For starters, you set your expectations low and slowly bring it up. If it is any consolation, our first maid got paid 1500 Rs and took about 10 sessions off citing various personal reasons(we hired her to come in for morn and even). I promptly told her that i would deduct the amount for the sessions she was absent and only paid her the remaining amount. She quit on her own. It took me 6-7 months to find a decent one (after trying out about 3 other maids). Sorry to say but you cannot look for the professionalism you would have seen with the US cleaning team.
Wishing you that your experiences get better.
- Shree
The maid is probably the most important person in our household...everything depends on her coming on time... good breakfast, good lunch and dinner...
No Maid.. No Good Food... only Bad Mood..
But theres always someone out there for you :-)
vijay, does your maid double as a cook? Or are you talking about the missus's mood when maid's a no-show? I trust you roll up your sleeves when the maid's absent and get down and dirty.
Shree, why does it take so long to settle down here? It didn't take me this long when I first landed in a strange country. After paying this maid a royal salary, guess who dusts, makes the beds and does the dishes?
aw terri, this seems like a common complaint I hear. The fun part is once folks get used to these maids, they come here for a visit and throw a tantrum for washing up after their own kids plates and cups. My SIL on her trip here was a hoot!
Rs. 1500 translates to more than $100 :O
Grandmother is so right!
rads
Ok scratch my last line on conversion.
I meant to say - perhaps giving her a $100 equivalent would make her better? :P
Getting the right maid is like finding your soulmate:), you date and date all the wrong people until you find the RIGHT one:). All you need is Patience and hope that someday even you will find the one thats right for you (LOL). Hang in there! been there done that! - Vijaya
vijaya, is this the closest I will get to dating? :(
rads, sounds like a wonderful excuse to misbehave when abroad. Mom's waiting for the maid to ask her for a raise so she can get rid of her and move on to the next one. How quickly mom tires of people!
Maid-servant ellam eraivan kudutha varam.(that wasn't greek).
The one at my parent's house sounds fine. Probably a background reco would help I guess.
In a home I know, the maid when questioned on how her cleaning seems to have no impact on dirt in the house blamed it on the bad eyesight. So, the wife thought it was a valid point spent the money(equal to 1 month's salary of the maid) and got the maid glasses.
Glasses or no glasses on the maid, the dirt stil maintains the status quo.
-Sachita
terri:
"Could someone tell her how to make her maid more of a naukar and less of a rani?"
it all depends on which part of the word 'naukarani' mom emphasized during the interview/labour certification process. ;-)
- s.b.
terri:
"vijaya, is this the closest I will get to dating? :( "
when rads referred to pati, patni, aur vo in a recent post (which mom commented on too), this certainly was not what came to my - or, i believe, mom's - mind!!
- s.b.
Please tell me this is all satire.
Terri's mom:
Since i can sense the frustration, i am more than willing to offer my view of things. When you move to the US, you control all the things in your environment and it is easy to make things fall in place beacuse it is only requires discipline on your part. Ofcourse, the outside basic needs processes are also very streamlined and easy to get used to if you are educated. I am sure if you are a person who does not know English, it would be a little harder to settle down there.
I would suggest that to save yourself some strain, you could tell the "queen" that her work standard is not satisfactory and fire her. Cleaning help would be easy to replace, i would think. correct me if i am wrong. I had problems firing my baby sitter for non-kids-care related issues as you always worry if you can find a better one and can't keep continuously bringing in new ones as it involves kids' getting adjusted too.
I hope you are finding some positive things too to hang on to in this transitionary phase.
- Shree
oh I am talking about madam's mood. I help by getting out of the way :-)
It needs some sort of a balance to get a maid do the work propertly. I learned it from my MIL. She used to scold the maid if the work is not done properly, go behind her when sweeping, mopping etc was done. On the other hand she also used to take care of her, giving her gifts, blouse pieces, sarees and other items. My MIL also used to give her food items which came in excess. The trick is to keep them happy, but at the same time be strict with the house hold work they are supposed to do. I have learned the trick over a period of 4 years. So best of luck, terriis mom. In any case if the maid is not doing the work to satisfaction, she can be fired and I am sure you will get some one else.
-Stay at home Mom
Sachita, background reco was that she works next door, and the young couple refers to her as “atthai.”
s.b., you could’ve provided a link so I can see where I put my foot in my mouth yet again.
lak, what do you think it is?
Shree, a wise lecturer once said, “A known maid-servant is better than an unknown one.” It didn’t make any sense at 19, but now I know what she means.
Vijay, madam needs her own blog. How does she vent?
Stayathomemom, if we fire her, what will I write about? ;) She remembered to take the mixture/sweets from Grand Snacks today, but somehow “forgot” to clean the bathroom again.
Q: Could someone tell her how to make her maid more of a naukar and less of a rani?
A: Yes. Get a new one.
I've only ever had to hire a maid once in India when I was in college and she was the nicest, sweetest woman ever who left my house spick and span and only ever made one request - that she bring her toddlers to work because her husband was no good drunk who'd beat them up if she left them at home. which was no hardship because they were cute little beings who sat in a corner and looked at me and my friends like we were all serial killers and occasionally accepted candy from us and sucked their thumb otherwise. So i have no wisdom to impart other than that which my mother tells me - "They don't make 'em like they used to".
Unless you're particularly attached to Rani and want to train her, hire someone who's already trained.
PS - "commode"? hahahahaha!!! heee hee hee! Hoo hoo hoo!!!
Am, is your old maid still around and getting beaten up by drunk husband? We have a spare bedroom if she wants to live in.
Rani just showed up on our doorstep the day we moved in. Neighbor Uncle's servant wants Rs. 2,000 to do the same thing. Other neighbor has a live-in maid. I have to expand my social network in this neighborhood just to find a new maid.
terri:
"s.b., you could’ve provided a link so I can see where I put my foot in my mouth yet again."
the only link i can provide is to our epic - the mahabharata - where yudhishthira says "ashwatthama the elephant is dead" and krishna blows his conch exactly when yudhishthira utters 'the elephant'. (talking of which, now that you are in desh, you might want to brush up on your hindutva)
similarly, when mom was interviewing for a naukarani, when she said 'mujhe naukarani chaahiye' mebbe the background noise (kuki, et al maybe?) drowned out the 'nauka' portion, and the interviewee just heard 'mujhe rani chaahiye'. or maybe mom unintentionally said 'nauka' subliminally.
- s.b. *wipes sweat off his brow with a forefinger*
p.s.: "Am, is your old maid still around and getting beaten up by drunk husband? We have a spare bedroom if she wants to live in."
omigosh *after rotfling*, is that what you wanted the link for (pati patni and vo)? - here it is.
s.b., there can only be one rani in this house. And, no, it's not mom.
It's the laptop, if you must know ... Dad's dil ki rani.
Re: the link. Is this why people are warning mom against live-in maids? We don't want a Chokher Bali; somebody menopausal, with no family, no lizard phobia, and from a remote Himalayan hamlet was what we had in mind.
This is a Chennai problem, it seems. My MIL is constantly complaining of maids taking way too much chutti. My mom on the other hand (in Bombay) has great maids, and was even able to find a really good replacement when one of her regulars quit recently.
Terri, it looks like your humans chose the wrong city to move to. Quality of maids should have been on the top of their list of considerations. After all, nothing works in India without reliable domestic help.
Hey Terri:
Poor mom - but that's another TII (This Is India) moment. (And no that phrase was not coined by me - I saw it on some random blog.)
Mom - be firm as suggested by others - yes follow the maid around and give her explicit instructions.
"Go clean the Commode - NOW" and follow her there - and don't give in to the temptation of flushing her away:-)))
Actually, I have also heard from my parents that Bombay is the best in terms of maids followed by Bangalore.
Even the good one is chennai doesn't match up to the one in Bombay.
-Sachita
ladies, are there lizards in Bombay? Just wondering, before we start nagging dad to relocate.
There are lizards in Mumbai!!!!!. There too the best maids are those of Tamil origin. They are very professional in doing their work. I think that is the old indian attitude. You get out of India and the best comes out of you. In the present case, these tamil maids when they get out of the local territory they are great in doing their work. I had experiences with both tamil and marathi maids. Tamil maids demand more money, but then you get what you upay for. Marathi maids are not that demanding, but are not as skilled as the tamilmaids there. Definititely they are better than the tamil maids in Chennai. But again here also I do have a maid who comes and makes chappati's and she is just too good!
-stay at home mom (SAHM)
Umm.. Terri, sorry about mom's maid problems.
I still think Rs 1500 is WHOPPING to pay a maid. I pay less than half of it (Rs. 600) for washing clothes, washing dishes, mopping the floor alternate days and cutting vegetables. Of course, one needs to be hawk eyed around the maid else the dust is pushed under the couch..
And to think mom and Ilive a few kilometers away from each other... tsk tsk.
lakshmi:
"And to think mom and Ilive a few kilometers away from each other... "
i suggest a new mapping technique that would be very helpful to rnris in the metroplexes: a cost of living contour map.
any takers in msn live india, yahoo! india, or google india? ;-)
- s.b.
the comment abt the channel V bai was too funny...i clearly remember that ad..hilarious!!!
:)
gau
gau, how long has that ad been around? That bai is too cute. I still have to watch Channel V on the sly. This time I'm hiding from the kids, not my parents.
s.b., wonderful idea! Perhaps they'll introduce Mapquest as well, instead of relying on directions such as, "Keep going straaaaaaaight until you see a water tank. Go for another furlong until you see an Amman koil. Turn left when you see a sign for Janatha Stores. Take the first right opposite the Aavin milk booth. When you see a tea kadai, turn a sharp right. Just ask anybody on that street where my house is."
lakshmi, other people have a life, you have a kitchen, and I have a maid. See? It all evens out.
SAHM, you have a maid who makes chappatis; Lakshmi has a maid who cuts vegetables; why am only I getting a raw deal?
My mom treats Chokkama like a rani only, while my sister and I rank next to the grime on the verandah's metal gratings!
And this is even though I get there on a two week long visit only, and my sister gets in once in two months or so.
*sigh*
anantha, perhaps you guys should visit more often.
Unfortunately Selvie and her babies live in a tiny tin shack in Bangalore and I don't know what her ideas about relocation are. Too bad really because she would have been perfect for you guys - she spoke English, a bit broken but she understood more than she spoke, she was very careful about infringing on people's space, was polite, didn't gossip about us (which was huge because my friends and I scandalized the neighbors), told us which neighbors to watch out for and she cleaned everything to sparkling bits, washed dishes, clothes, took out garbage, never asked for days off or loans etc and we never had to monitor her. In fact we used to leave our keys with her and never felt a moment's hesitation. And she did it all for 1250 per two bedroom apt.
If anybody in Koramangala is looking for a maid, I recommend Selvie! Although I bet her rates have gone up.
Mapquest in India? Just how would you map that nameless "pee chandu" (don't ask me for a translation)that is the shortest cut between any two arterial roads?
Terri, comparing mom's maid to my kitchen is completely justified. I hope mom would NEVER visit me without giving me a 24 hour notice which is how long it would take for me to just dump all the junk into where she won't be able to see them.
lakshmi, not to worry, please give us 48-hour notice before visiting. Even after that the house won't be clutter-free.
Am, no English-speaking skills required. What language would we argue in otherwise?
mom should have asked this mad mom abt maids before moving :) i could have spared her some heartburn
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