It’s been more than two months since the maharani was replaced by a younger, more agreeable Mahalakshmi. The new maid nods politely when issued instructions and is unfailingly cheerful where her predecessor was morose. She stays, for now, until she hankers for more money.
The cook, however, to borrow a phrase from Jeffrey Archer, is fast approaching her sell-by date. Oil flows out of her hands like water, and her standards of hygiene are markedly different from mom’s.
For someone who tires easily of people, mom must have really good reasons for her self-imposed, firm moratorium on dad.
It's just that I don't know whether to feel happy or sorry for the man.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
You’re fired!
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27 comments:
terri:
"For someone who tires easily of people ..."
boy, for once i am glad you are not a "people"!
on the flip side, a complaint - in two weeks, that is all you could think of for a new post? ahaa, i understand! you are helping mom get her financial bearings right, aren't ya?
- s.b.
s.b., some people suffer from writer's block, others suffer from menstrual block. (Too much information, I know, but the relief from pain makes one want to do a jig and hug passersby.)
When you hire a cook, its best to look the other way in terms of Hygiene (like when you go to a restaurant)
Its what you pay for the "convineience" (other than her salary of course)
Vijay, I might give catered food a shot. At least I won't see the person sneezing and coughing into the food.
Catered food? You'll end up with semi-boiled potato curry and over-boiled chow-chow koottu every other day. Experience speaketh.
terri:
maybe getting big "dog"gy bags home each time your folks eat out is better than getting your food "cat"ered.
- s.b.
Why not cook yourself?
~
Priti.
Priti, what? And spoil my manicure?
s.b., why is "cat"ered reminding me of neutered?
Doggy bags are a good option for spouses who eat leftovers; not for men who suddenly declare, after 12+ years of eating week-old rice, that they only want "fresh food" from now on.
inba, we tried catered fare once. I'd rather eat chicken. I'm going to apply your 1.5 hours deadline in the kitchen from now on.
Merry X'mas and a new year...Srikanth
I hope the new maid continues satisfactorily. And that you are soon blessed with a new cook.
All the best!
Srikanth, thank you. Same to you.
dipali, thank you. I want to be blessed with a new residence in a new neighborhood in the new year.
Dad obviously renders more valuable services than the cook. ;-)
Akin to the writer's block, I am suffering a bout of the cooking blahs - in my case it is chronic. But I can't get myself to relinquish kitchen control to a cook. The other half eagerly awaits my mom's visit so he can get a break from his sulky wife dishing out uninspired fare.
-DS (maybe I should get a manicure.. )
Chakli, dad is truly indispensable. We have no intentions of letting him go.
DS, grandma's visit is partly responsible for cook's departure. And if the other half won't eat chappati let him eat cake instead.
Oh I could never manage a cook..I barely tolerate the maid..
Which was why I was surprised to find that I had an attack of low BP (is it called an attack?)and now I can't even say I can feel my BP rising everytime she sets foot in the house. But yeah the BP condition means I have a legitimate excuse to run to my mummeeee
has the cook already been fired or is it two weeks notice period?
I think you want a five star cook for the price of a home cook, aint going to happen!
I am not saying mom should start cooking, I wouldn't do that to anybody. Cooking is so overrated and I feel should be outsourced as much as possible. Besides, if mom starts cooking and taking finance classes, who is going to write fiction?
Ps: Bullock's performance, isn't she konjam annoying?
sachita (the one and only):
"Besides, if mom starts cooking and taking finance classes, who is going to write fiction?"
elementary, my dear watson! there is a person in the house who is attached to a laptop. obviously, he's at home, probably has time to spare, is not hobbled by pain1 and pain2, can be bribed with three good home/wife-cooked meal per day ... need i say more? ;-)
but you say fiction-aa? i thought every single word here is fact!!!
- s.b.
S.B,
no, no, you seemed to have forgotten all about the Great Indian novel waiting to be penned down by Terri's mom.
Yes, finally made it to only sachita.
sachita, I'm supposed to give her a two-week notice? What if she starts spitting in my food then, in addition to sneezing in it? I wonder how much 5-star cooks make. This home cooking gig seems rather lucrative at Rs. 3,000 for 1.5 hours a day. And what novel? I can barely write a blog post these days.
s.b., there is another person at home equally attached to the laptop, with time to spare, etc., who can be bribed with food and kisses and is a joy to deal with - the son! Alas, he seems to have inherited math skills rather than prose.
gds, control freak that I am, I'm surprised I tolerated "the help" for so long. I look forward to the time they both leave and I have the house to myself. I heard about this Boat Club lady who has nine servants at home. How do people like her do it?!!
I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE cooking, so much that I feel like crying when I get out of the bed in the morning because I have to cook. But what I detest more is having someone who is not related by blood (or (children, close eyes here) other body fluids)enter my kitchen. Call it an O-C-Disorder that I have. I am surprised you can even let someone else touch your cooking utensils.I would get a heart-attack.
terri:
"This home cooking gig seems rather lucrative at Rs. 3,000 for 1.5 hours a day."
i am not being a nosey neighbour here (well, at least i am not your neighbour), but do you live in the palm meadows of chennai or have i lived abroad long enough to totally lose track of desi reality (cost of living, wages, etc.)?
- s.b.
sachita:
duh! i get it now.
lakshmi:
i cannot understand that! you were a grad student in the good ole usa once upon a time. how did you manage it? and i guess your hate is just limited to folks using your utensils, not the other way around, or how would you ever even eat out?!
terri:
i am catching up with sayesha after a whole long time, and now i discovered what's common (search for "fear") between her and mom (other than the sense of humour).
- s.b.
lakshmi, I feel the same way you do about sharing my bed with someone else (barring a few exceptions, of course).
s.b., you've been away far too long. This seems to be standard salary for a cook hired through an agency.
I wonder if there are as many lizards in Singapore. We should start thinking about exporting them to foreign lands.
you have an award. as you know, you were nominated by someone who was unsure about your character...
Love Mom day by day. because so many similarities but not everything of course.
I was hooked on to the blog when I read chocolate is overrrated and Mom never understood why people drink coffee that much, smthg that sort.
Lizards are also the biggest fear for me and second is lonliness.
My comic sense is very basic though compared to Mom's.
And we had the same opinion about J Lopez...
Coming back to topic, how can Mom tolerate the cook with sneezing and all. Wouldn't it be better to cook yrself and supervise cleaning. Anyway, Mom's not writing the novel yet. I wonder what she does all day long :-)
~
Priti.
mg, why the doubt? I am all that I appear to be. Thanks for the award, though.
Priti, thank you for the kind words. As far as I can tell, mom spends the day stuffing her face with food not made by the cook but equally greasy, such as mixture, murukku, barfi, etc. The woman needs another hobby.
terri:
"The woman needs another hobby."
early saturday morning, without my glasses on, i read that as "The woman needs another baby!"
- s.b.
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