Mom was chatting with a friend recently, and after a lot of heming and hawing and don’t-take-this-the-wrong-way, he wanted to know why most Indians dislike dogs.
Apparently, every time he takes his medium-sized mongrel to the park to toss him a Frisbee, the few Indians he has met there cower in fright, gather their children around and ask him to leash his dog.
I was shocked to hear that. Since when do desis speak up? Obviously, these people are not from where my humans are.
Most desis I know are mortally afraid of dogs. Some act quite the same way mom does when she spots a lizard. When the humans were looking to buy a home, mom refused to even consider a particular house because it had a dead lizard floating in the swimming pool. She was so disturbed that she made sure dad and the real estate agent scouted properties before she even stepped out of the car.
A few people react to my advances in much the same fashion. Normally sensible friends of the family stand on kitchen countertops and scream until they’re red in the face when I approach them. Babies start crying; pregnant women hold on to their bellies; desi grandparents out walking cross the street; mothers force feed their children using me as a threat, etc.
I suppose the basis for this irrational fear springs from a traumatic childhood attack by an abused stray. I've heard of people who've been chased or bitten by neighborhood dogs and are prone to anxiety attacks when they see me or my kind.
I understand, of course. What I'm confused about is this: if we applied the above theory to mom who's been pinched, prodded, groped, squeezed, grabbed, felt up and fondled from childhood through adulthood, shouldn't she logically run in the opposite direction every time she sees an approaching male?
Why then does she wilfully share her mind and body with a man - even one as gentle as dad - going so far as to seduce him at times for her own prurient needs?
According to my calculations, this woman should be a lesbian.
Does anybody else find this queer or is it just me?
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Furry Logic
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25 comments:
LOL. A profound question terri. I have no answers regarding mom's behaviour. The human race has quite strange (inexplicable) behaviour when it comes to interactions between opposite sexes.
But I guess that the humans' behaviour to the canine clan, stems more from negative conditioning (in early childhood), rather than from having any real traumatic childhood attack by an abused stray. I am not often given to such strong opinions - but such people (in my opinion) definetely suck. So there! :P
-PP
Wow Terri! Thats a profound question! Cant believe we still have faith in the humans!
Hubby is scared of dogs and would hide behind me when he sees a dog on the streets! He says its because his parents disliked dogs and he also had a scary experience with a friends dog! Since I have always had a dog right from childhood, I love them.
By the way, I am scared of the situations more than men. Like traveling in a crowded bus, going into a crowded shop, etc...
Whatever! Let me know if you made sense out of my comment! ;)
PP, I agree that conditioning counts. The only reason mom likes dogs is because her parents brought one into the family and she grew up watching them treat the dog like a princess. Their own flesh and blood never lived up to their expectations, but the dog certainly did.
Her parents, traditional in every other sense, also seemed unmindful of the occasional “nutcase” comments that came their way.
Mom hopes to pass that legacy on to her own children.
boo, but why do the in-laws dislike dogs? In fact, why are dogs treated like women in India? Is it the madi factor in Brahmin households or the fact that we lick our privates and sometimes drink from the toilet?
I understand the bad experience bit and the fact that some humans are indifferent and just not inclined toward dogs.
It's the other reasons I don't understand.
I think it all boils down to one's childhood experiences and the environment people grow up in. If you are a kid in India where you have pets at home you grow up loving them. Otherwise you believe all dogs are bad, carry rabies and bite if you get close.
Exactly, it is queer when I was reading it. I have been attacked by dogs a couple of times. Once by a dobberman, when I was 12 yrs old and the next time by an angry mother of 4. But I still love dogs.
hm...hugely deep question.
I like dogs and I share bed with a guy who'd freeze at the mention of one. You know once he actually sent me out in the middle of a snowstorm at11 pm to pick my daughter from a canceled sleepover at a friend's just because they had a dog and it would rush tow elcome him with licks if he did go?
I pondered divorce that whole night!
Till when I was 16, I used to be so scared about dogs. I remember my grandmom telling me to stay away from them cos they bite! One of the stories that my mom tells is of the time when I was in the seventh standard. I remember the time only vaguely and it is only with my mom's help that I can fill in the dots. I remember that I hit the ball down from our terrace to the half vacant plot next door and went down to get it. The vacant plot has a caretaker living in a hut with a dog. Apparently the dog saw me, broke the "thread" that it was tied up with and ran toward me.
And Mom tells me (she was watching from our kitchen window) that I got so psyched that I dropped down on my knees and begged the dog to spare me. I vaguely remember the dog running toward me and everything is a blank after that. Seems like I was shaking badly when I got home. There were a couple other incidents too with other dogs, one a Pommy called Timmy and a Doberman Pinscher called "Sulukki" (from the Tam word Sulukku, meaning sprain, cos one of its ears was unnaturally floppy).
Then a friend got himself a Labrador pup that he named Pluto. As all labs are, it was very friendly and that was when my notions about dogs changed.
But I still have friends who have not gotten over that fear.
The behaviour of females of the human species is somewhat inexplicable - I dont know whether this too is a case of conditioning.
When males of the species tend to pass comments etc at passing females - the responses from the female is difficult to predict. If for example, the female has a tender feeling for the male then the comments might seem endearing and would cause the female to blush furiously; on the other hand, if it were from an 'undesirable male' then the reaction would be quite the opposite. This is true for the human's in India (so I guess that conditioning might be involved). I dont know of male-female behaviours in other cultures. This behaviour is further reinforced in our bolly/kolly wood cultures. What would be considered as the worst kind of eve-teasing in real life passes of as good, clean fun if the hero indulges in it.
A not so subtle way of saying that all guys are dogs!! Now, where have i heard that before?! :)
-Manav
M, right-o! It’s unfair that dogs have such a bad rap in India.
Pilgrim, good for you! And you still like men too, right, despite growing up as a female in India?
Rads, doggie drool could have medicinal properties. And why is the husband afraid of dogs? Is it an inexplicable fear like mom has for lizards or did he grow up in a madi household?
Anantha, I hope these friends of yours don’t go around kicking dogs simply because they can and are then outraged when a dog retaliates and bites. If that’s the case, you need new friends.
BTW, the dropping-on-knees-and-begging technique will work on women also in certain situations.
Visitor, if you ask me, females in all cultures and species are bizarre, even to other females. Men are somewhat less complicated I think because the one I’m in constant contact with seems to have only one basic need – high-speed Internet access.
Manav, dogs and dog lovers take particular offense to that statement. I don’t understand why men are compared with dogs in the first place. Dogs are known for their loyalty, so I wouldn’t elevate a dickhead to the stature of a dawg.
"According to my calculations, this woman should be a -----"!!! :o :o!! ur inferences, OMG!!
Oh Ter! I love your kind really but what can I say I too belong to that mean group of humans that like to keep a distance from you! I don't like being licked and I don't like sudden rapid movements, jumping up and down around me! Since I can't explain that to you next best thing is to keep a distance - esp since your kind always somehow assumes I would "like" to play when I am actually trying to keep a distance and they come closer and closer! And I do get angry with those humans who don't keep their dogs on leash in public parks! I mutter and mumble but have not yet dared to go tell them that! And when they say he is a friendly dog, I want to tell them hey my baby's friendly too - you want to hold him and let him drool over you for a bit? Now hope I have not offended mom with that comment - but don't you think there is some logic to that?! But really I DO love dogs and I wish I was not scared of them!
BTW - just so you don't now start disliking me and my entire family Terri let me tell you my husband and my son both love dogs...yesterday my son ran towards a puppy who came and licked his nose and he came home and showed me how the dog was panting when he came near him...
:) - No Comment!
BTW, the dropping-on-knees-and-begging technique will work on women also in certain situations.
What??? I was begging the canine to leave me! Why would I beg a woman to do that to me? I would have thought that I'd have to beg them to do the opposite?
Terri - The madi factor will only prevent you from having a pet not dislike the entire dogdom! My grandparents were as orthodox as they come but had a special thing for cats and dogs!
Anantha - It will work after you have a woman in your life! And it will more like "Spare me" than "Leave me"! Right, Terri? ;)
i7, you're the only one who picked up on the premise of this post :) Clue to all others - this post really has nothing to do with dogs.
noon, aiyyo, no apologies necessary. No offense taken. Waise I still have hope for you. I've seen rabid dog haters, the kind who foam at the mouth, become complete converts when a dog enters their household. The kind who grudgingly give in to their kids' demands .... These people's affections extend only to their own dog, but at least it's a start.
anantha, as boo says, the technique will work only after you get yourself a woman.
BTW, dogs, like babies, make excellent chick magnets.
Terri: BTW, dogs, like babies, make excellent chick magnets.
Or so, one has noticed. However I have seen cases to the other extreme as well. And have been in the same room with two opposing minds, one of whom was cowering in a corner. heh!
As for the actual premise of the post (which one definitely noticed, but had other things in mind, like a load to shed from one's chest for e.g.), I think it's the difference between love and hate! You love some and you hate some, right?
the technique will work only after you get yourself a woman.
Hmmmm, so it is a "technique" now, huh?
anantha, actually it's a science.
Terri,
Despite the post not being about dogs, I chose to write about them :)
I love you, as long as you are typing online and not really sitting in the couch in front of me talking, or even barking. In the latter situation, you would need to call 911 to resurrect me. Reasons:
1. Grandmom was bitten by a house-dog once, and I witnessed the many shots she had to have around her belly. And I was only eight years old then.
2. I was chased around twice by canines: once by a teeny tiny Pomeranian and once by a Doberman, who actually almost bit my butt, both belonging to good friends.
My first question to my husband-to-be when we chatted online for the first time was : "do you like dogs? will you ever have a pet?" The idea was that I would say bye bye to him if he answered in the affirmative. So, Anantha, you may not be too lucky with chicks after all.
No personal offense meant, Terry. I still think you are as much God's creation as I am. And your blog is simply divine. Yet....you know....
Oops. the dogs "belonged to good friends", not the butt !!
lakshmi, does this mean I'm going to have to look for a new guru?!!!
Dad was also asked the all-important dog question when he was being interviewed. Poor guy, if he knew then what he knows now, he would've changed his answer.
So, Anantha, you may not be too lucky with chicks after all.
What? Why? The whole seems to have decided thus!
Terry, I shall be your online guru, what? I would hate to NOT have you for a sishya :) And when we meet, I might just hang on to mom's pallu. I hope you won't mind that.
Yes Anantha, tough luck !
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