“What was your take-away from the meeting?” the boss asks.
Other than a crappy corporate stress ball and a notepad, pretty much nothing else, you want to answer.
Instead, you string together CEO-style phrases, such as “core competencies,” “shifting the paradigm,” “proactive strategery,” “create synergy,” etc., and spit out a few sentences, hoping the boss will walk away satisfied.
Just don’t ask me what they really mean, you pray.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
I’m no Dingo, but I can Lingo
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19 comments:
so I take it the dog reads Scott Adams and is a big Dogbert fan ?
:)
Sundar, to answer your question, I had to Google Scott Adams and Dogbert :)
So, um, what DO those things mean?
terri:
an appropriate retort would've been: "definitely less than your take home!" but all of us salaried folks know that being salaried is better than not! ;-)
amrita:
i can help with one - "shifting the pardigm" sounds very much like boss offering you stringed cheese, i.e., cheese that comes with strings attached, so you would ask tomorrow "who moved my cheese?"
- s.b.
s.b., don't you wish senior execs would speak in plain English, sometimes?
Amrita, no clue, but that's corporatese for you.
I personally like "create synergy." Wonder how I can do that in everyday family life. ;)
Terri, have you seen this?
dack.com/web/bullshit.html -- that's a bullshit generator...comes in very handy during such times
muser, let me know when you figure it out. Some corporations have been trying to do it for years, apparently.
indianomad, this is brilliant! So many useless cliches, a.k.a "strategic statements" in one place! I can now rest in peace. Thank you!
That is sooooooooo dilbert-ish!!
Sandhya
Sandhya, my life is a cartoon strip? Sigh!
Some definitions as I have learnt over the years in corporatedom:
core competencies : If there is a talk about your core competencies or the company's, it rarely means what your strengths are. What it means is what you (lowest rung person in the ladder) will be able to accomplish without it being your strength at all. Its like sending you on the Star Trek spaceship and say, "To explore the unknown" and without the captain!
shifting the paradigm:
This means, if the original strategy thought about by the higher ups do not work, you need to shift your paradigm to make them work. Shift your focus, work more, create a new strategy and then say the vision originally thought up is essentially a shift in paradigm.
proactive strategy:
This one means, work for more than your are paid for. Think about work at home. Proactively, work for 3 people and say you had fun and it was interesting and it is part of your normal responsibilities.
create synergy:
Create enough energy to acheive all the above!
Hope this helps!
Hey, your mom's been tagged! Check out the blog for the details. :))
pilgrim, wow, you sound like a VP! And I just realized that dad indulges in proactive strategery far too much for mom's good.
muser, after hearing an earful from grandparents on my "one-track mind," I have to respectfully decline. (Regarde ton blog pour la vrai raison ;)
Terri,
** Had to write this, linking two blogs ***
Is the proactive strategy by the dad the real reason on mom's part to refuse Muser's tag request. I guess that tag is not just writing!
I hear you. I keep prarying I don't end up using such phrases in the wrong context!
Terri, tes vrai raisons ring puerile! How did Kuki come about after her brother, hah?! Explicate.
Terri: Look at it from certain angles, everybody's life is a cartoon strip of sorts :D
But ya, corporate lingo confuses me too. And corporate exercises (to build morale etc.) amuse me!
pilgrim, full marks for guessing the reason.
mm, there's no wrong context. When in doubt, just "leverage" (whatever that means).
muser, please see response to pilgrim. It was a fluke.
anantha, so far the corporate exercises I've been exposed to bore me. I'm still waiting for them to amuse me.
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