After carpooling the last six months, mom finds herself on her own again.
Instead of leisurely reading novels on her daily commute or catching 40 winks before her stop, she now listens to Himesh remixes, stares forlornly at bumpers and throws dirty looks at cars whizzing past in the carpool lane.
In between e-mailing random strangers on carpool and vanpool boards and considering posting her availability on a giant blimp floating over the I-10, mom has also briefly mulled over the following options to beat rush hour traffic:
- Quit her job.
- Start work at 3:30 a.m.
- Sleep under the desk and go home only on weekends.
- Quit her job.
- Hitch a ride on a motorcycle if one can somehow avoid touching the rider.
- Get pregnant and declare self-imposed bed rest.
- Quit her job.
The practical solution for mom would be to trade in her gas guzzler for one of those hybrid cars with solo drivers that are allowed in the carpool lane, but that would mean not being able to exercise attractive options 1, 4 and 7 above.
The truth is, the woman is nursing a faint hope in her heart that dad - who’s never commuted more than 6.71 miles in his working life - will turn off the television, look deep into her eyes and say something along the lines of, “Take a break, my beautiful, talented, hotter than a jalapeño wife. These petal-soft hands (kiss, kiss) were not meant for working or driving.”
Hey, a woman can dream while driving, can't she?
20 comments:
Statistics show that dreaming while driving is 61.43% more dangerous than drinking while driving.
I think dad has mom's welfare at heart, because of which he doesn't serenade her with "Dreeeeeeam Giiiiirl". :D
PS: I recently heard that women ought to ignore all the things that men of romantic interest SAY, but pay attention to all the things that those men DO. Yes, a guy said it (although he attributed it to a female - as if!) ;)
ano
A, you're so right! It's a good thing somebody in this house is down-to-earth (even when he's literally in the clouds).
hey terri!
your mom has a knack of writing so well that I am glued on her blog and have been checking on all the archives....great going!!
does mom know that new hybrids that are purchased may not get the stickers? apparently there is a total quota of stickers and it is over for the year.. at least a little birdie in my house told me that..
petal-soft hands not for driving, my !@@
my wife does have petal soft hands and when she puts that petal to the metal, everyone on the local freeway starts praying!
:)
why is mom always a scapegoat?
where is her blog?
terri:
here's a 'भैंस भी बचे और लाठी भी न टूटे' (and i hope to high heavens that i have correctly reproduced the idiom) kind of solution:
tell dad that she is so bored of the commute that she is planning to buy a helicopter for point-to-point service, and ... that she has a chauffeur in mind (who but the budding pilot of the family ... wink)!
- s.b.
pretty woman, why, thank you! Welcome and please stay.
sundar, but it's almost the end of the year, so there might be some hope. I think they should open a separate hybrid lane - the carpool lane sometimes moves along the same pace as the regular lanes.
And please ask wife how she keeps her hands so soft. Was she born with it? Or maybe it's Vaseline (sorry, inside joke that only a few might catch on).
burf, there's no room for a goat in this blog. It's crowded enough with two species.
s.b., the thought did cross her mind that dad can quit his day job and start a helipool service to ferry harried commuters to and fro. Maybe then they can move to a sprawling ranch house outside the city with an adjoining hangar, tennis court, Olympic-sized pool and an IMAX theatre on premises. But why plant another idea in dad's head? He has enough whacky ideas of his own.
lol@vaseline.
Yes Terri, dreaming is our birthright. ..and blogging our dreams is the icing. Right? :)
I like point number 6. What says you, Terri?
I stopped reading at the point mom said she listened to Himesh remixes, so I could go throw up. ;))) Just kidding.
a muser:
coming from you, any reference now to throwing up is a few months too late, ain't it now? ;-)
lakshmi:
petal soft hands or #6 on the menu. the choice belongs to mom and mom alone! :-) terri has no say!
- s.b.
rads, that would make comments the chocolate curls on top.
lakshmi, s.b., #6 is the most tempting of all. But dad will have to make a minimal contribution.
muser, I love Himesh remixes. I don't care which orifice he sings out of, the remixes can get even my left foot tapping.
slight modification on to #5. How about getting a bike and riding it...?
Esp. mom is brave enough to listen to Himesh remixes.., I run out of even indian stores when they played them.
-sachita
sachita, do a 60-mile roundtrip everyday on a bike? Mom would have permanent helmet hair.
Dream along Terri :)) and you have to stop listening to Himesh remixes!!! Oh and I got a pretty good idea of how pumpkin ice cream might taste :)
sm, there's a good reason why pumpkin ice cream, pumpkin cookies and other pumpkin products are confined to a certain month instead of being available year-round.
and that is why i dont drive. i dont know what i'd do in your country though! i like the idea #6. though its not a permanent solution.
TMM, not unless you're another Mrs. Dugger.
Terri - have you thought about quitting your job?
:P
am, only about 20 times a day :)
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