After driving solo for a whole week, mom now has a carpool partner again.
Perhaps you know him? He’s Shaggy’s twin, Slobby.
Of all the desirable men carpooling on the I - 10, mom had to land a partner who seems to rate personal grooming and hygiene a little low on the priority scale.
In between driving 25 miles above the speed limit and weaving in and out of traffic, Slobby likes to scratch his head and whiskers rather vigorously, making mom suspect he has a dandruff condition that is likely to exacerbate as cool, dry weather sets in.
He also yawns without covering his mouth and snores loudly when mom is at the wheel. Rather than be insulted by this affront to her driving and conversational skills, mom is secretly relieved that she doesn’t have to make small talk and turns up the radio to resist the temptation of jabbing her elbow in his ribs.
After sharing a ride with two meticulous females who kept their cars in pristine conditions with nary a stray wrapper nor an errant french fry in the backseat, mom now endures the 60-mile commute with little alacrity.
The guy’s obviously single, and is doomed to stay so, until he vacuums the dog hair from his car, launders his coffee-stained jeans and realizes that women do not like to be kept waiting - especially women who spend the entire workday with an anxious eye on the clock. Little wonder then that he broke up with his earlier carpool partner, claiming she was too “high maintenance” and “cranky.”
A few more days and mom will dispense with all vestiges of politesse, preferring instead to bury her nose in a book when it’s her turn to be the passenger.
In the meantime, she stares at the crack in his windshield that’s starting to resemble a cartographic river and its tributaries, and steers clear of the dog drool on the window.
The only redeeming factor in this partnership is that the guy's a non-smoker.
Really, he has no idea how lucky he is to have mom in his car.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Riding in Cars with overgrown Boys
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21 comments:
I would totally take him over a talker, any day!
"is doomed to stay so"
LOL. I think men go through 3 phases. Dirty-bachelor-pigs, clean-suave-bride-seekers, Dirty-married-pigs :)
That book is a very good idea. Where else are you going to find a few minutes of calm!
tdna, you sound like the ideal carpool partner if you mumble a hello and goodbye and are always on time.
terri:
the first time you wrote i-10, i thought it was a slip of your paws. but you repeat it here. where in the environs of chicago is i-10? or am i totally missing something?
i like the new blog-do. looks like the preparatory step to a transition to wordpress ... :-)
- s.b.
s.b., whatever gave you the impression that I live in frigid Chicago? You're not even warm.
And I don't like my new look because it's so devoid of color. I'm waiting for some kind soul to offer, out of the goodness of his / her heart, to make over this space. I can send some fresh mint from my garden in gratitude.
cleaniness like godliness is relative.
we cannot appreciate darkness if we didnt have light
we cannot appreciate mom if we didnt have shaggy and slobby
:)
(this would be from slobby's perspective!)
At least he likes dogs!
"s.b., whatever gave you the impression that I live in frigid Chicago? You're not even warm."
whoa! if i had time (it's at a premium nowadays), i would re-read your archives. as it is, maybe you'll research your archives into what could've given me the idea... or did you recently move to nola? ;-)
- s.b.
sundar, I like the use of godliness and mom in the same context.
mg, that point alone would have been enough to warm my heart, but it's not easy to overlook the slovenliness.
s.b., from now on I'm going to write about Paris and Rome to confuse you even further.
Is the guy going to find you "high maintenance" and "cranky" as well???
sm, if he knew what I think of him, he might come up with other choice adjectives.
I would like my carpool partner to be courteous not talk anything in the morning and talk a lot in the evening. Be clean and punctual.
And I have to say this if you are a desi then you are not punctual. Period! and this includes all the female kind too. So the desi's like terri's mom and me are an exception and it is irritating.
And not all men are dirty! :) Some are just disorganised.
pilgrim, mom is very much the norm. But Her Highness expects other people to be on time for her convenience.
I just read Slobby's post - you don't wanna know! ;)
Nice post!
A book is always a great escape !
noon, what does he say? Never mind, I don't really want to know.
saady, sleep is another.
Himesh Remix Vs. Slobby. Tough choice.
I'd rather drive alone no matter what. I like my peace and quiet of the commute way too much.
rads, on certain days, like Friday mornings or Xmas time, I tend to agree with you.
lakshmi, c'mon! There's a reason why Himesh is laughing all the way to the bank.
dropped by for the first time, so thot wud "woof" u!
for the template - try www.finalsense.com It's simple & has instructions on how to go abt it! :))
hope it helps u too!
Knock, knock. Long time no update?
rayshma, welcome, wipe your feet and sit, stay. Thank you for the link. You deserve a lick.
lakshmi, you and I are posting at the same pace.
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