On the way home yesterday:
Mom: “Kuki, would you like Emma to come over and play with you Saturday?”
Kuki: “OK. We’ll go to my room and put makeup on and I’ll brush her hair.”
Mom (thinking, “How cute!”): “Oh, yeah? How come you want to brush her hair?”
Kuki: “Because Emma’s hair is long and beautiful.”
Mom: “So is your hair. See? It’s longer than mine and so soft.”
Kuki (softly shaking her head): “But my hair’s black.”
Stunned speechless for a moment, mom’s imagination speedily kicked into overdrive.
Mom (thinking): “I can’t believe she just said that! Did she just say what I thought she did? Should I ask her again? Maybe I should just ignore it. If I ask her she might think it’s a big deal. But if I ignore the issue, she might go through life thinking black is less desirable ....
Where did she get this from? Those $%^#* Disney princess movies? For crying out loud, color’s not even an issue in our house! Kuki doesn’t even know what “fair” and “dark” mean ... Or does she? ....
Should I start pointing out dark objects to her and celebrate their beauty, like the black car next door or that black cat sitting on the wall? Maybe we should get a black dog ....
I wonder if Anu has any color issues ....
Where did I go wrong as a parent? This has to be my fault. No, wait, why is everything my fault? I’m doing the best I can ....
By the way, kiddo, your hair’s not black! As grandma’s fond of pointing out to me, your hair’s a dull brown because I never oil it ....
Hmmm, I thought my baby wanted to look like me. Isn’t that why she wears my shoes and steals my nail polish? Obviously, she doesn’t think I’m pretty anymore ....
Sigh! I've been sidelined by a three-year-old blonde!”
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Legally Brown
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12 comments:
Damn! :)
ano
By the way, kiddo, your hair’s not black!
Aren't you unconsciously reinforcing the stereotype?
But then how does one ever react in such a scenario?
I'm stumped.
that sucks! I actually love my dark hair & tanned skin colour & I'm sure she will grow up to appreciate it too.
ano, has this happened to you yet?
visitor, that was said sotto voce :) Being the byproduct of a swan-like mother and a milk tea father, mom grew up hearing "How come you're not fair and lovely like your mother?" so she makes a conscious effort to keep her children color complex-free. That's probably why she hasn't streaked her hair gold yet.
DW, I hope so. I prefer the Selma Hayek look to the Reese Witherspoon one.
Kuki has beautiful hair and I see bangs too!!! what is she drawing?
terri -- does mom apply coconut oil to Kuki's hair like grandmom did for her?
How sad!
Upsi, no bangs, mainly because mom doesn't like hair falling on her own face. And don't shoot me, you being Mallu and all, but mom doesn't like hair oil.
mg, the poor kid needs some role models. Mom isn't quite cutting it.
Oops..One never quite knows what to say in such situations ! Tough one.
first,you mock at my failing eye sight. why terri why.
and secondly ---- whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttt!!!!!! you don't use coconut oil!! Thats like saying you dont brush your teeth, for a mallu.
advice you to please delete your comment before Blossom Baby Kutty, Molly and Sheenamol finds way to your place. Dont come wagging your tail at me after that, I tell you.
upsi, they sound scary. Are they the names of coconut oil corporations or your cousins?
not yet, terri. but it soon will, i promise! :)
ano
aw, she's adorable and her hair has such a fine curl to it too..
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