Some things never change

Anu: "If the party's at 7, why are we leaving home at 7:30?"

Mom: "Because we don't want to be the first ones there."

Anu: "Why not?"

Mom: "Because."

Anu: "But why can't we be on time? Somebody has to be the first one there."

Mom: "Don't talk back! Go see what Appa's doing."

Flashback to circa, 1978, when mom was still naive about social mores.

Grandma: "OK, listen, when we go to my friend’s house, you need to behave yourself and not embarrass me.
• Don’t put your legs up on the sofa.
• If aunty asks you for thanda or garam, smile politely and say, 'No, thank you.'
• If she insists, you may have juice. But don't slurp on the straw and make sure you leave some juice in the glass.

Mom: "But why?"

Grandma: "Don't talk back! And remember, you can only eat what's on your plate. I don't want you to grab the last biscuit on the tray, even if nobody else wants it."

Mom: "But you told me never to waste food."

Grandma: "This is different! Now, let me get ready. Go see what Appa's doing."

Different situations. Same confusion.

Indian custom (or is it uniquely S. Indian?): Never finish everything on your plate. If you do, the hosts will think your parents starve you.

Indian American custom: Never be on time for desi parties. If you do, the hosts will hate you.

Just don't ask why.