What's next?!!

Orbit and Kariba leave and Zoey, a little ball of fluff, arrives for a sleepover.

I swear, this place is turning into a veritable kennel; and it's starting to smell like one too.

Zoey, a three-month-old bundle of energy, is bouncing off the walls and using the living room as a toilet. After eight years in this house, mom is finally resigned to the fact that every square inch of the living room carpet is now saturated with bodily fluids.

Zoey, meanwhile, has decided that I'm to be her role model. She follows me everywhere, all the time, even when I want to pee. Hello! What does a guy have to do to get some privacy around here? With eight humans in the house and one persistent pup, I'm hard pressed to find a quiet spot for myself. All the couches are taken, and the carpet is damp. The backyard is not even an option in this weather.

My humans, imbeciles that they are, have succumbed to Zoey's charms. Even dad actually touched her. But I need to act tough and let her know who the boss is before she completely tears the place apart.

Hey, don't get me wrong. I like kids as much as anybody else - but only from a distance.

It's bad enough sharing my turf with a rambunctious two-year-old human who likes to jab her fingers in my nostril. Even well-placed little nips don't seem to discourage her. And from what I hear, Orbit and Kariba are coming back next month, this time for a two-week slumber party.

Mom, sometimes, you just need to say NO!